A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Help! Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 7 months now, and whenever we try to have sex, it won't happen. Whenever he puts the condom on he loses his erection and can't get it back to put it back on again. It's happened around 10 times now and it's fustrating us both! He can get one easily when we're just kissing and messing around but when it comes down to doing it, it won't happen. He doesn't want to go to the doctors about it so can anyone think of anything that can help? Thanks Roxy:)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): My boyfriend and I have the same problem. He can get an erection when we are messing around, but as soon as we go in the bedroom it just dies. On the other hand once in a while it works. Is it stress, drugs, overtired??? i dont know.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): I agree. Nerves.
My boyfriend had the exact same problem.
He could get an erection easily, even at the most random inappropriate times, yet the first few times we tried ot have sex he would lose it. He was a virgin, yet I wasn't so he felt pressure to perform and didn't want to get things wrong.
You both need to relax, take things really slow, and reassure him that things are gonna be great. Tell him not to think, just to blank his mind out and make putting the condom on part of the experience, put it on for him, and make sure you have it ready at hand so not to interupt things.
After the first couple of times, my boyfriend got more confident and eveything is great now. Hope things will be the same for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Yeah, what MyDestiny said about nerves is correct. He could now be getting concerned because this has happened a few times. The more it happens, the more he gets concerned and soon it becomes a psychological issue. Women sometimes have a similar thing with orgasms. They don't have orgasms at first and then they start to worry and try too hard to orgasm. That just makes it even harder to orgasm. Tell him that a couple of guys on a forum said that using a larger condom made it successful for them and then he might think positive and everything solved.
If I think of anything else, I will post back. The main thing is for him to relax, but that is easy to say and hard to do.
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny  +, writes (23 March 2009):
 yeah i agree with "troubledtoomuch", the condom tip is a really good idea..if the condom's too tight.it just ruins everything...and you loose all your sensitivity aand you loose your hard on
also tell him to relax a little, it could just be nerves that's causing the problem...
good luck, hope i've helped
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, defo going to try them condoms. Just incase they dont work, any other advice?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2009): Since he gets erections with foreplay I doubt that it is a medical problem. However, it would not be a bad idea to see a doctor anyway. Condoms are a necessary evil. They do kind of ruin the mood. However, don't think that I am suggesting that you go without one. I definitely am not.
It could be that the condom is tight and kills sensitivity. I always had that problem. No sensitivity with a standard sized condom on. I tried Trojan Magnum condoms and problem with sensitivity solved. I'm actually not big enough for the larger Magnum, but it does stay on and doesn't affect sensitivity at all. It's a little loose, but it works. They are smaller at the base so they stay on, even though they might be loose at the tip. Give that a try if they will stay on.
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