A
female
age
51-59,
*atie vinslet
writes:i got engaged ...but now i dont want to marry him ..he is not the kind of husband i thought of...i want to marry my love means my boyfriend ...i cant tell my family about this nor my fiancee ...pls help me what should i can do now?
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female
reader, alexa_f88  +, writes (31 May 2009):
Oh, I know what you mean. I was engaged for 2 years to a lovely guy... it had all started off so well, and at the time he proposed, I was over the moon. In my case, I think I was too young to know any better - was 17 and all I wanted was to be loved!
But then I slowly realised, he wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And yes, it hurt us both when I told him, but now we're both better off for it. I'm with a new guy who I utterly adore, and I hope he's found someone too (I don't know, he refuses to talk to me!)
My point is - if you don't love him, or don't want to marry him, then you have to act. Is the wedding planned? Date set? If so, and you do love him, then you could always say you want more time.
You've got to do what makes you happiest in the end, and if that's becoming unengaged, then that's what you've got to do.
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (31 May 2009):
 Hi there, Let's see, how many lives do we get? Last time I looked, it was one. This is not a rehearsal as someone said. So you can't tell your family, why not, do you really think if he decided he didn't want to go through with the marriage, he would stay around. Just thinking about standing there, saying you will be with him until you die is too crazy to imagine, if you don't want to do this. When two people are in love and care about each other, marriage is still something you have to work at to make help it survive. How would you do this every day, "keeping the marriage alive" when you don't want to be there? What about kids? There is too much at stake here for both of you, to enter into a dishonest relationship, not fair to him, not fair to you. Tell him now and forget about the rest of the people, it's not their lives, it's yours. Anyone with good sense would know you did the right thing. Stand up and get out of this situation now. Take care, good luck and learn to be your own best friend. Stay in touch.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): Why did you say yes when he proposed?
If he is not the man you see as being your husband, you have to tell him! You can't begin your married life as a lie! You will be miserable and so will he.
Be fair to him and to yourself! Do not marry anyone just because you don't want to disappoint people.
You have to get this out in the open before it's too late!
I know you're scared, but you have to!!!!
Good Luck
Britt
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