A
female
age
30-35,
*trypehype
writes:Recently I helped dye my boyfriends hair black. I did it to make him happy because he's been kinda down lately. But after that he's not like he used to be. Now he wears a dog collar, and adding a ton of black to everything. He talks really depressingly too.. and is getting noticed by all of these girls who consider themselves goth and have a rep of getting around.. Most of the time I love him so much. But then its like I feel scared to be around him... we have been together for two years. My mom was diagnosed with bone marrow cancer (she has 3 months left to live) and I can't help but get emotional, and I feel like he does not understand what I am going through and why I am crying when I do. Also there are days that I feel like if I dress like the girls do he will feel better being around me. He's never abused me. Never judged me, but I wonder sometimes if he would listen if I joined his stereotype? I have tried talking to him. Not a help what so ever, but any ideas on how to get through to him?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 September 2010):
 I am very sorry to hear about your mother. This has got to be a really tough time for you, and I'm sure the situation with your boyfriend is just adding to the troubles!
I don't think that fitting into the stereotype will be the best decision for you. I think that goth kids are generally bummers to be around. They tend towards the darkness in clothes and in life, and steer away from positivity and finding the joy in things. I think you need to keep being yourself and find smiles in the little things, rather than focusing on what makes life depressing and gloomy.
It sounds like you're nervous about your boyfriend and the fact that he's getting down, dark and depressing. It could be that he's medically depressed or something is going on with him that he's not comfortable talking about. Maybe talk to your parents or a school counselor?
I think your boyfriend and you should go to a funny movie or the park and try to brighten each others days a little bit. Or, if he's so into dog collars... go to a pet shelter. Nobody can stop smiling around puppies. Good luck, sweet!
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