A
female
age
30-35,
*orniiingGloryy
writes:Okay, So I've known this guy for about a year now, when we first met, we liked each other, but never did anything about it. About 3 months ago, after being friends for ages, we decided that we wanted to be together, the thing is, we're both stubborn and he gets angry easily. He dumped me after only a week together, for no legitimate reason. He said at the time that he loved me, but it wasnt working.About a week ago, he got intouch again, telling me he still loves me, and that he knows i still want him. He knows me better than anyone else, and knows exactly all the right things to say. I called him today, and he'd had a bad day, and he took it out on me, talking to me like he didnt care about me, and hung up on me. This was 3 hours after he txted me saying ''I love you babe, you're gorgeous''. I need to know if he's just playing with my head or if he genuinely loves me and doesnt see anythings wrong?Please help me! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 Personally I think that the advice that girly69 has just given you really does hit the nail on the head, yes you love him and you want it to work out. However, if after you have spoken to him and told him how his abuse upsets you and he doesn't change his ways then you MUST walk away as emotional abuse can be even worse than physical abuse, I know that sounds ironic to say but scars do heal but when someone gets in your head it is extremely hard to recover from that.
My ex used to play mind games for a very long time and it gets your self confidence to an all time low. It is very hard to pick yourself up from that but little by little I did and now my ex and I are the best of friends and he is there for me, however he will NEVER be my bf/partner ever again as I would never put myself through all of that again. He even admits that he needs help with his anger management as it has erupted with our daughter in the past and I told him in no uncertain terms that he either calms down/gets help or I will stop him having such regular contact with her as it just isn't fair when a child is in the equation.
Your bf is still quite young so that means he can change his behaviour before he gets settled into it for the rest of his life.
Good luck and keep us posted on any progress eh!
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Sometimes in life people who we love the most end up hurting us the most, and sometimes people who hurt will hurt the ones they love the most, my boyfriend (we’ve been together for 6 years) use to have temper tantrums himself, and for along time I was there to take all his shit, until I spoke to him one day and told him I love him but I am not his punching bag when he gets upset, and he changed now when he has a bad day at work or some idiot pisses him off he tells me about it, sometimes they take their anger out on us coz we are the closest to him, but this is not right, yes you are his girl and you can share in his frustrations but its not fare that he takes his anger out on you, perhaps he needs a wake up call speak to him tell him you know why he does what he does but he needs to understand that its not fare, and the next time he does it again, you will be the one to leave, and if he does it again, you leave, if he doesn’t want to change his ways, then don’t change who you are, don’t change your values. I know how bad and confused that leaves you, coz you did nothing wrong and you cant understand how a man that loves you can treat you like shit for no reason, if this continues you will end up with emotional scars that will never heal.Good luck dear
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A
female
reader, MorniiingGloryy +, writes (30 January 2009):
MorniiingGloryy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks heaps guys! This has been stressin me out heaps! i doesnt help that my family dont like him either (only coz he dumped me for no reson the first time) I've never had feelings for someone this intense before. so i really want it to work out.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (30 January 2009):
Personally sweetheart I think what Ginalolabridga has advised is sound advice.
This guy is fickle and unsure of himself but you DON'T go around and slag someone off if you are trying to show them that you love them. It sounds to me like he could be extremely hard work.
He needs to get some anger management as it would be pointless being in a relationship which meant that you suddenly become insecure and unsure of feelings that are being said to you and then at the same time receiving insults and just playing with your head all the time.
You don't go into a relationship if you have doubts about the person and normally your own inner instinct kicks in. Tell him that you didn't appreciate the way he spoke to you and unless he can change his ways you really are not interested in becoming his girlfriend again only for him to dump you after a week or two as you have been down that route previously and unless things alter why would you want to be with someone like that.
You deserve someone who really likes being with you and even if you do speak to them on a day when they are stressed out they don't turn around and start blaming you. Don't settle for second best, that's all I mean.
You are fantastic and you need to remember that, he is the one who has come back to you and not the other way round and unless his attitude changes then you are not prepared to put up with it.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, MorniiingGloryy +, writes (30 January 2009):
MorniiingGloryy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks heaps, I'm going to talk to him as soon as possible, it's just that he makes me feel guilty for doubting his love, and acts like im in the wrong. I dont know if i should confront him, cause what if it scares him away?
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