A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My b/f and I broke up after 7 years. we are 20 difference in age, I'm in my later 20's and he's in his later 40's. We love each other very much, he's a very nice guy and treats me with respect. He always tell me that I'm the love of his life. About 2 1/2 months ago, I broke up with him due to some misunderstanding, after a long talk, he agreed to it. After that, I was deeply regret, I felt so sad and couldn't eat and sleep, I apologized to him and asked him to take me back. But he said that we couldn't be together anymore, it's not that he doesn't love me anymore, it's because he realized that it's unfair for me to be with a man that is so much older, he cannot give me a luxury living.....I was so heartbroken. No matter how I begged him, still couldn't change his mind. He said he still loves me very much, but this is the best thing to do for both of us. The first couple weeks, we did talk on the phone few times, but everytime after talking on the phone with him, I felt so painful. I know that he just don't want to be hurtful to me to tell me that's it's over, he kept telling me that he needs time to think. I finally told him that I will accept the fact that we can no longer be together and will not bother him anymore. Today is exactly 7 weeks of no contact with him. Although now my pain feels less and less everyday, but I just cannot cut him out of my life completely. I still love him, and I know that he does too. On my birthday last month, he didn't even send me a simple birthday wish, and this Christmas, no greeting from him either. I'm very disappointed. I'm wondering if he ever think about me at all after the breakup. Is it easier for a guy to move on after a breakup ? How can I save the relationship ?
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male
reader, urbanking99  +, writes (26 April 2009):
In answer to your questions again only from a personal point of view
1) He is probably thinking that you may want or need to have children at some stage in your life and he will be an "older" father, and possibly won't want to be seen this way. There is so much animosity to people having "age gap" relationships. Men have issues but it is not seen as "manly" to discuss them as we always have to "be strogn" in front of women.
2) When you are in love, it doesn't matter how far away you are or if you are no longer together, you never ever forget the love of your life. It is possible to find love again as I have found out myself in the last couple of years.
3) There hasn't been a day gone by (I don't think) that I haven't thought of my ex. What she does and how she is doing. She remains a major part of my life and gladly she remains a dear and trusted friend. She will always be in my thoughts. I miss her like crazy.
Remember the good times you had with your partner and th
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your feedback. My feeling is that it would be easier to move one and let go if that person did the breakup. In my case, I iniated the breakup, but I regreted and wanted to get back together, but he would not give our relationship another chance. So we broke up. I find it extremely hard to move on and let go of him after we were together for the past 7 years. No matter how hard I tried, he's always on my mind. From the guys' point of view, how can he let go of me just like that ? Do they forget their woman once they loved so much overnight ? Do they ever think about and miss them ?
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A
male
reader, a_decent_1  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Guys actually take much longer to get over a break up if they were serious..
Girls get over these better..
G'day
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A
male
reader, urbanking99 +, writes (27 December 2008):
No it's not always easy for the guy to move on. After letting a wonderful woman go, because of my insecurities and fears, it has taken me 17 years to realise there are more wonderful women out there to form relationships with but you have to love yourself first of all to love someone else.
If you want this relationship to work again both of you have to sit down together and talk openly about your wants, needs, desires and fears before you can progress to the next level.
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