A
male
age
41-50,
*asanovaconfused
writes:I've been dating this woman for just over a month and I'm really into her for so many reasons. The problem is I have almost turned mushy or wussy by being too open about my emotions, my past, and what I like about her. I feel embarrassed and worried that I may be putting myself into the friend zone since I'm being "nice". How do I balance the challenging hot guy routine with my real personality that wants to sweep her off her feet? Now how do I recover from showing her I was slightly jealous about her hanging with her guys friends? How do I start not wanting to impress her?I like her a lot and don't want to push her away by being too much..not sure how to chill and just enjoy the moment.....I always rush in when I feel a special connection, help!Maybe I'm needy from childhood...not sure how to heal( we are exclusive, sleeping together, and have met eachothers friends... 30 yrs old)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 December 2012):
 My hubby is the girl in the relationship. We were two hours apart the first year and it was hard. An hour is not that much around here...some of us drive that much for a daily work commute....
You like her
she likes you
the relationship is young
slow down
relax
be yourself....
if you trust her... then trust her...
my husband trusts me. If a man I was very attracted to came on to me, the first thing i would say is "yeah my husband does the same thing" basically I stake my claim as a NON-FREE woman no matter how attracted I am to a particular man. Men can only make moves on women that let them.
Have some faith. it goes a long way in a relationship.
A
male
reader, Casanovaconfused +, writes (26 December 2012):
Casanovaconfused is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm an hour away so I only see her on weekends (I do have my own life). When it comes to jealousy I know it's something I can work on, but I'm not a crazy possessive jealous guy, and I trust my woman. I just wasn't so comfortable knowing I see her one a week and there's dudes always hanging out with her, it's the guys I don't trust
I just don't want to lose this one, and am mad at myself for being a little insecure and too open about my emotions since I know the man is supposed to be mysterious, and a man,..,,I'm kinda girly sometimes and don't know how to change that
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): The thing about the friend zone is that it is not something you can do anything about. You are in the friendzone when there is no physical attraction.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): I.don't know if in fact you're in the friend zone or not, but if you keep up with this jealousy thing, you won't be in the friend zone, you will be out of her life! No woman wants to be possessed. If she has male friends and you're insecure about it, then you really don't need to be in a relationship right now! From my experience, people who can't accept friendships from the opposite sex is due to the fact they always end up having sex with them or have an attraction to them. Never platonic. When they end up dating someone who have friends of the opposite sex , then they have a jealousy issue because of what they have done. So if you want to keep her stop.the jealousy. She can be friends with whomever she wants. Until you have proof that she is cheating, then cool you're jets.
As far as being open, absolutely be open about you're feelings and expectations. In my opinion, the better to know what you're dealing with early before getting too involved. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 December 2012):
 First and foremost, you cannot stop a woman from putting you in the friends zone, nor can you get out of it. Once you're there, you stay put. There are also particular reasons (sometimes of the unknown) of why a woman puts you in the friend zone. It's beyond your control.
This isn't the case with you. In your post, you said you two were already dating, deemed exclusive, and sleeping with one another. So are you officially boyfriend and girlfriend or do you have a FWBs arrangement of where you aren't sleeping with anyone else due to STDs/STIs?
Instead of being someone you're not, which is incredibly challenging and never goes the way you want it, be yourself. Seriously. If you try to put off an act, she'll pick right up on it and dump you for being insecure.
Try to turn down the overbearing and jealousy a bit. If she didn't visually notice the jealousy and give you crap for it, then take it as a pass. Learn from that situation. It's possible to have a strictly platonic relationship with the opposite sex. If you have a problem with neediness, then practice spending more time by yourself (still see her an adequate amount during the week) doing activities you enjoy. Hang out with your friends. Build confidence and friendships. There's no need to be with your girlfriend 24-7.
I'm sure you'll be fine. The relationship just started.
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