A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met a guy on a girlie weekend away, we spent the night together in my hotel room, however we left it that he would text me when we both got home, (we live within 5 miles of each other when at home). He duly text me on the Tuesday following the weekend. After that we text reguarly usually with me texting first. Then the messages become sexual with fantasies being exchanged. After about two months I become frustrated as he refused to meet up. Then I decided to delete his number and move on. Then two weeks ago over 4 months from our first night together we bumped into each other in the local disco. When we first met he gave me a big hug and went on to tell me he wanted to be under the duvet with me later. I smiled and walked away, then he text me saying what he wanted to do to me. To cut a long story short I ended up back at his house and spent the night there. He left me home the following morning and offered to kiss me goodbye, however my mother was at the window spying so I said to keep it till next time. In saying that I've yet to hear from him. It's driving me round the bend, I've never done anything like this before. I saw him in passing last week and he had a huge smile and wave for me. Part of me would love if he ignored me but this is wrecking my head. During our last night together he told me he was seeing a seperated woman with two grown up kids. But she was later referred to as a "fuck buddy". I text him last night to say hi but have yet to get a reply.. Should I forget him? I'm driving myself potty going over what he said the night we were together. During the course of the night he said he loved me? Was that just pillow talk??Help please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Was it pillow talk? Unfortunately, yes.
Look, you slept with him the very first night you met him. Big mistake! Having got what he wanted so easily, what incentive does he now have for pursuing you, for courting you? Men, even if their main interest is for a romp in bed, like the chase. They tend not to respect or care for a woman who gives it up so quickly. Unfair? Maybe, but that's the way it goes.
If he really wanted to spend time with you, he would have contacted you. Men who are really interested in a particular woman will always make the effort to get together. (Unless temporarily incapacitated by serious illness, death in the family or 18 hours-a-day work schedule).
So, learn a lesson from this and forget him. Don't let yourself be driven potty by someone who isn't interested and who just wants you for a bed-mate!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2007): Yes it was just pillow talk. And yes you should forget about him, if you want more. He just wants to have sex with you, and that is all you are going to get from him. And he is not trying to hide that from you as he even told you that he is dating someone else.
I mean telling you "I love you" and "I am dating someone else" is an oxymoron. Don't you think?
Furthermore, actions speak louder than words. Forget what he said. You see how he acts. He doesn't even call you back.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2007): Yes, obviously he couldn't have meant it. He seems like he is in a relationship with someone else. That is probably the reason that he couldn't meet up with you before. Perhaps his girl was away the night you bumped into him at the disco leaaving him free to mess around that night. He referred to her as a fuck buddy, but he is most likely lieing about their relationship. When someone text messages you and then suddenly stops and can't meet up it's because they are already taken. I think you should move on and take this as a lesson.
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