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female
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*atlova
writes: My mom died four months ago, and the more time passes by, the more upset I feel. Also, my dad died four years prior to her. I've tried grief counseling, but that didn't seem to help at all, plus there are very few people I can talk to, and I don't have a strong relationship with my siblings and other relatives. i feel like I lost my oldest best friend, and now my heart seems empty.
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 Hi,
I'm sorry for your loss, but there is unfortunatly no time scale where grief is concerned.Having lost my own mother, who was also my best friend some 22 years ago, I can only say take one day at a time and the pain does eventually subside. You will eventually feel better about things and life will return to some sort of normality. I have never got over the loss of my mother, think of her every day still, but accepted her death long ago, as you will do one day, but it will be in your own time, there is no rush, it is still early days.
There are many organisations that deal with grief. GOOGLE grief/help and you will find many web sites that help you to cope with grief.
The day will come when you can rejoice the times you spent with your mother, and remember her without feeling like your heart is breaking. Time is the healer here, don't be too hard on yourself, your feelings are perfectly normal, a loss such as yours will take time to come to terms with.
Good luck.x
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reader, Lemonpixie  +, writes (17 November 2006):
 I'm very sorry this has happened to you sweetie. I know this is rough, and maybe that grief counselor or that atmosphere didn't work for you. Sometimes if you are in a different setting such as one on one or a group it can improve things... it just depends on the individual's preference... Also in one on one sessions with therapists you have to really get along with the person, and feel comfortable and you can usually tell how you feel within the first 2 sessions. I had to go through 3 therapists before i settled with one that made me feel completely at ease. A good therapist will help you find the right person for you even if they arent a good fit. They also have online groups for people who have lost parents and that can really help you connect with some people and although its an unfortunate one you do share a common bond with them and that can be comforting. http://www.griefnet.org/ also try meetup.org to look for groups near you or start one so you can meet in person. Losing a loved one can make us feel completely alone, and sometimes angry because they left you, then you can feel guilty for even thinking those thoughts it's a vicious circle. But with time and proper support you can get through it. Maybe try and reconnect with your siblings as well. Good luck Sweetie.
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