A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I am in a relationship with my boyfriend from almost 1 year. We both like to go out. We both are social drinkers. But he loves drinking and he goes out every weekend to drink out, or if not out then at home. Everything was going good. We were residing in Australia. He applied for a visa and his visa got rejected and he had to leave the country. I am on temporary visa so I could not help him. My parents and his parents were here and we got engaged before he left. He gave me commitment that he will come back soon. When he got to know his visa got rejected he started drinking like anything all the time for few weeks. I tried alot to stop him but it didn't help. He used to give me excuses that he is upset thats why he is drinking. But then he left for his country. We belong to same country, India. Now since he is in India he is enjoying with his friends and drinking every day. He goes out with them without telling me and then he say sorry I wil not repeat again. Please tell me what to do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 March 2014):
 I will tell you what you should do but you won't like it.
YOU NEED TO END THE RELATIONSHIP.
the man, if not an alcoholic already is going to be one.
clearly he already has an issue with alcohol.
there is NOTHING you can do or say to an alcoholic that will make them stop drinking. It's an illness, an addiction and if they drink daily then they can't just quit cold turkey without being hospitalized.
telling him not to drink won't work.
the only think you could do is say
"I love you and want to be with you but as long as you are actively drinking we can't be a couple" then stick to it.
if he gets help and stops drinking, then you can reconsider a relationship.
I'm not even addressing the Long distance part of this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2014): You must be kind but firm with him.
Explain the drinking is getting out of hand and you are concerned for his health and your relationship. Alcohol is a depressant & not going to make him feel better. Don't nagg, just have your say and make it very clear he is not the man you love and care for when he is drunk and hopefully he will get the message before the relationship is damaged for you to consider other options. Good luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 March 2014):
 It can be difficult to maintain a long distant relationship. He is obviously drinking as he has nothing else to do, and am sure he is missing you as well. If you want to be with him then you both need to make arrangements to be together as things might not work if you stay in two different countries. The best thing to do is to make plans and see then through.
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