A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:I'm in dire need of some advice on how to handle a situation at my place of employment. I have worked at my job for 21 yrs in various positions. For the last 8 yrs. I have been in the position of Site Supervisor for a Before and After School Childcare Program. At my site there is another employee whom assists me on a daily basis. Throughout the last 8 yrs I have had a handful of different assistants.About 4 yrs ago an assistant and I had a falling out due to the fact that she was a very aggressive person who felt the need to always try to override my authority which caused a lot of disagreements. Once she saw that I was not going to stand still and allow her to take over she went to my superior and asked to be placed at another site. At that time my boss asked me for my side of the story and told me that this employee felt I was jealous that she could do a better job than I. All I could do was laugh at this utter nonsense and stated that it was untrue. That was the end of it. They then placed a male employee with me and for 2 yrs we carried on with no incidents and worked well together however, to my disappointment he was asked to supervise another site so once again I was in need of another assistant.Thus, my problem begins once again. The person they sent to me was someone I knew prior to her employment with my company. I was hesitant to work with her as I have heard many things about how she conducts herself at other jobs. Might I add that she is also, a relative of the other woman who I had a problem with and she is an aid at the school where our daycare is stationed. Other aids had told me to watch my back which I took as a grain of salt thinking that since I knew her as a friend I shouldn't have a problem. Well, I couldn't of been more wrong.At first things were going along fine however, as time went on her aggressiveness surfaced and she too, began to want to dictate every situation. She treats me as if she knows better than I on how to care for the children since she is an aid. With most things I have learned to just go on about my business but, there are times when I have had to put her in her place. She can get very loud and vocal at those times and will argue with me to the point of nausea. She is very much about the drama in her personal life as well as at work where I try to avoid such things as much as possible. I know I should of gone to my superior about this but, feel that this not only is unprofessional but, that I could handle the situation on my own.Unfortunately, for me she is the one who ends up going to my boss asking to be moved to another location, also. I have no clue what has been said just that she will be moving to another location in the Fall. I'm starting to feel that my boss may think I am the problem although she has not said such but, since this is the 2nd employee to request to be reassigned. This whole business is starting to make me very anxious about my job and making it very hard for me to be cordial to her knowing she went behind my back. My question is how should I handle this situation with my boss and her from here on in? Should I just keep my mouth shut as she does not know I am aware of her request to work elsewhere or what? I apologize for the length of this post however, your insight would be appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2014): In clarification of your answere we both work directly with the children. It is my job to plan/delegate the activities each day. I do all the paperwork which needs to be submitted on a daily basis as we are a state run organization with set rules & regulations which have to be followed. I also, am in charge of any corresponding with the parent of each child in my care. The other person working with me is there to assist me in caring for the children. In my opinion I feel I have always shown tact & fairness towards my assistant & have even welcomed their input in certain matters, The problem begins when they are not following the rules & I call them on it or decide to argue with me about what I have planned for the day & then precede to take over the situation, thus undermining me. It's as if they can't deal with the fact that I am in a higher position than them. I am in all reality their boss at this site however, by no means do I shove that in their face..I treat them equally as much as possible.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (11 May 2014):
 It sounds as if you do not currently work directly with children, but supervise the aids who do. Correct?
Coworkers, especially if you are supervising, them need to be approached with tact, encouragement and honesty, as well as being willing to listen nonjudgmentally to their concerns or complaints. How well do you stack up" in these areas?
There always is, it seems, a "bad apple" in almost every office or workplace who makes life difficult for those they have to work with. You have had two such - and as you said, one of them was hard to get along with at her previous jobs.
If, having looked at your own behavior you can honestly say your dealings with people you work with have been fair, then it's time to talk to your boss.
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