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male
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*nknown_lad_182
writes: hi, me and my gf have been with each other 9 months, she is 16 (nearly 17) and i am 17, and i am madly in love with her vice versa. we used to have a really good sex life for about 4 months but in the last month or two she has gone off sex and most other sexual activity, claiming she is not ready. i respect this but it baffles me how she had sex with her two previous boyfriends and also has had sex with me. it feels to me like she has gone off me and i am getting fairly sexually frustrated. i love her to bits and dont want to hurt her feelings but i want to know why she has gone off it? is it me? i really dont know. can u help me?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 You need to talk to her and explain to her that you respect her and what she wants to do but at the same time you need to tell her your concerns and worries regarding this issue, if you don't mention anything then she won't understand how you feel and be able to tell you what is going on with her and what she is thinking and feeling.
She is still only 16 and already on her 3rd sexual partner therefore maybe she is wanting to slow down and start taking things at a slower pace and maybe she is feeling that everything has been about sex and wants to make your relationship more than just sex as to her you mean more than sex.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (27 September 2006):
 I think you need to let her know your concerns about this, and let her know that you feel this way and feel that its you because of what has gone before. Now what it appears on the surface is that she is not ready to spread her wings sexually anymore, and she may feel that she has started a sex life too early and wants to hold back until she is feeling a bit more comfortable about herself. The fact she has slept with others before you may have no bearing, its just thats how it happend and maybe she didnt really want it to and went with the flow and has now realised she would like to just take it steady, doesnt want yours and her relationship to be based around sex, or shes testing you! Would be a bit a cruel, for her to see if you think shes more important than sex, but it could be thats how shes feeling, she feels that so far all you guys have got is sex and shes wants to take the focus off, there is nothing wrong with that, it could just be she is totally overwhelmed by it all and just doesnt want to rush and wants to focus on other things that couples do. Why not let her know that you love her and respect her and that you obviously want to do what makes her happy but let her know that your worried. Show her you love her in different ways, it could be that she feels the sex is clouding it all and simply wants you to show affection without it having to be in the form of sex. Spend some cuddling time together, kissing and the like and let it stop at that and see how thigns go. Go out together try new things and let her feel comfortable with you without the need for sex. Once she feels more secure in herself things will most probably come back. Let her be herself and dont pressure her, enjoy other things together and see each other as people, not just sex, and once she feels relaxed enough to embark on a more sexual nature she will soon let you know!
Take Care x
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