A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I've known this guy for about 10 months. I started dating him about a month after we met... things were good for about 3 months and then he broke up with me saying that i wasnt "his type" and he just wanted to be single, which was fine with me. I still like him a lot and we are still friends at this point, but he calls me about 5 times every day and when we hang out the way he acts around me seems as if he wants to get back together with me... he likes to hold my hang and cuddle, etc etc... but he wont say anything or express to me how he feels. He knows how much I like him, and says on occasion that in the future maybe it will work out because he still does like me, or so he says... but then other days he tells me basically he won't ever want me as a girlfriend again... I don't know what to do... i like him... A LOT, should I wait around? Im scared that if I keep asking him how he feels i'll push him even farther away...any suggestions?? HELP!!!
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female
reader, Jolin  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 hmmm...these are the facts:
1. You are not his girlfriend, and he's not your boyfriend.
2. You want him to be your boyfriend, but he doesn't want to accomodate your want..
So, at that point, it's very clear that you should act like a friend instead of a girlfriend. How?
1. you cant be always around for him
2. you cant always take his 5 times phone..
hmmm... i mean, you shouldn't give the "benefits" of girlfriend, if this man doesnt want to be your boyfriend. Unless, you agree being his "friend with benefits" but, i guess that's not the case, rite?
However, i can suggest you to take space from him, no need to answer all his calls, no need always be around with him, if he ask you out, you may tell him that you have plans with your girl friends..
This is not to ignore him..but to allow him to think whether he wants you as his girlfriend or not..
If he wants you to be his girlfriend, he will ask you to be your girlfriend..
Further, you also can open to other guys..it's just fair..besides, you may find someone better, eh? ;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): I think its just an excuse because he likes someone else. Ive had this experience too. When guys say oh we should be together in the future or lets see how it works out in a few months.. it secretly means, i have another girl, and if things dont work out with her, you're the next best thing. Im sorry if that is blunt but its true
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A
male
reader, deadduderc +, writes (7 August 2009):
You should probably stop asking him about his feelings. Maybe you can stick around since you really like him, but definitely keep your options open so that you won't turn other guys away who will accept you just the way you are.
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