A
female
age
26-29,
*weetest_sin
writes:Hello, I am 16 years old and when I was 12 I met a boy. He and I became the best of friends, so close that people in our school believed we had this happy aura around us that no one can break and like any friendship, at one point we both fell for each other.A lot of people may say that this is infatuation, I understand, especially at our age, it is very common that I may be mistaken but we both care for each other and love each other so much. He's always there when I need someone to talk to, when I'm sad, through all the good times and bad, we stuck together and we haven't even done anything sexual. It's been like this for 3-4 years now.The problem is, I was not allowed to date him, obviously being aware of the concequences, I decided to push my family rules of not dating until I finish university. I'm a senior in high school now, finishing this summer. My parents' main concerns were that I could let go of my education, I can assure you my GPA is of the highest standard and his is also the same and another was that they wanted someone to traditionally court me.Me and my parents are okay now. I told my Mom about my special friendship, as I didn't know what to call it, with this boy and through the heated misunderstandings, she said that if he really loved me, he would wait for me to finish college. That's all my Mom wants, the minute I get that diploma she says that I'm free and old enough to do what I want to. Right now, she believes that the guy should come over to our house and meet my Mom and Dad, as my friend, so she can get to know him. She wants us to stay friends, if possible, or not communicate anymore if it'll only break our hearts, during this period. The problem is, I'm unsure if I am able to stay friends with him. There are some lingering feelings here and there and it is very difficult but I'm sure if he feels the same way I do, then we could go through time together and maybe make it, maybe deepen our friendship more. I don't want to sound naive, but I don't want to lose him as he has become a huge part of my life. If he came over as my friend and was persistent and patient, then I'm sure we could make it. People from the army in the past, had to go away for a long time and their loved ones waited...I'm wondering if it's possible for the same to happen? He says that he's willing to wait, but other people have said that if a person really loves you, they'd never make you wait. I'm scared that he'll let go too. Please help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): Im really glad you are such an obedient daughter, but here is my opinion. You are an adult now! 4 years is a long time and I know people say they will wait but in my experience, it only leads to drifting apart. That isn't to say that you won't keep in contact, but throughout college he will meet other people and so will you. You might meet up after college, true.I just think that you need to challenge your parents to begin to learn on your own. You need to think for yourself and do what's best for YOU. I know education is important, but education isn't as complicated as a person. College will always be there, a person won't. Im not saying don't go to college, I'm just saying you and this boy being together doesn't mean you have to sacrifice school.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 February 2011):
 If he knows he will be with you in the end, then he will wait, as will you. You can make each other the promise of not dating anyone else, but wait until you are free to be together. That promise could be enough to keep you through it.
It sounds painful, and like a long wait. But in the end it could be worth it, as you don't want to run the risk of ruining what could be a beautiful relationship in the future. Getting together as teenagers could possibly ruin things as you are both immature and naive and foolish in so many ways still. Once you are older you will see life a little differently, and be able to care for each other in a better way.
However, it is a long wait. Why can you not be together secretly? As in no kissing, but perhaps hold hands when no one sees you, and share a special bond, without taking it further? Being together... without being together officially.
I think it's nice that your family wants to get to know him though! The more they get to know him, the more likely they are of approving him and then perhaps you'd be allowed to date.
Could you describe to me what the difference between good friends and a dating couple is, when you don't have sex? I guess it is a culture thing, but doesn't mean you stay the exact same only you don't kiss friends on the lips? Friends can kiss on the cheek, give hugs, and even hold hands as far as I am aware, so what would be the main difference to you?
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