A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 35 single female never married, has a crush on a manager 35 (he is married with 2 kids under 7) in the same office building. We connected on linkedin and after that it was non stop emails from him to me telling me about at first how he(only he at this point I didn't know and he didn't disclose that he was married) about how he loves traveling every year with his friends to Germany,(doesnt bring his family which I found out 2 days ago) how he also loves to hike, bike do outdoor activites, never once has he mentioned that he was attached. We had seen each other in the office passing by before we connected so he knew what I looked like and vice versa. Anyways he wanted to know where I sat and he came down to visit me but I wasn't at my desk that time. So we continued to email back and forth at work.The next week he went on vacation and didn't say that he was going with his family, just going on vacation, but after I found out from another co-worker that he was married I wanted him to tell me in person. When he got back I asked him and he told me he went on his family. I removed him from my linkedin and stopped communicating with him for 2 days. At this point, I feel betrayed and lied too b/c he knew I was single, and I thought he was single and he never mentioned that he was married, not once!Within the 2 days, he went back on my linkedin account knowing that I removed him and that I would see that he visited my page but he didn't send an invite. So i figured to be the bigger person and to just play it normal and professional and not ignore him which would make him think that I have feelings and is upset. So i said went by his desk to say hi and he was extremely happy to see me and was asking me what i was doing for the weekend, etc. Once I left his desk, he sends me an email within 10 minutes thanking me for coming up to chat and how that he has seen that we weren't connected on linkedin and wanted to know why? I lied and said i didnt know what happened but I did remove him b/c I felt betrayed. He also said in his emails that he thought that he offended me or something that was the reason why I might have removed him. Again, I said no.So this past weekend I asked him, how is your family to remind him in case he forgot that he was still married. He told me that his wife and kids were going to visit her mother in MA and that he didn't want to go b/c he didn't feel like taking the drive up there in a car. He was also thinking about going up state to a festival, which was again 2 or 3 hours drive. Also. mindyou, he went to college there and has done the drive many a times!Well, needless to say, he stayed home for the weekend. At this point, he keeps emailing me back and forth and yes i do respond to him, I do admit that i like the attention even though it is the wrong type of attention. Now the emails are getting deeper where he tells me and complements me on how i have an adventurist spirit b/c i love traveling and that he loves doing that as well. He even rode his back of state all the way up to Maine and then down to Baltimore bc he likes that feeling of being alive and advernturist. He even sent me a video of him when he was taking this trip by him self, mind you. Again he NEVER brings up his wife or kids at all. He ONLY talks about himself and the things he likes to do and then compliments me on what i have done.He is super flirty in his daily emails(today he sent me 24 emails) and even today he wanted me to send him pictures of myself in last years halloween costume(which i told him that I don't think it would be appropriate b/c I didn't want him to not see me in a professional way) He says that why he wants to see them..I have spoken with my female and male friends who both tell me that happily married men do NOT act this way and that he is done with his wife and men normally Stay because of the kids! Does this sound like a happily married father/husband?
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at work, co-worker, crush, flirt, married man Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2013): It doesn't matter what it seems like. He is married and with children. It's time for you to find someone else to play with. And someone single. You know his status now, keep it professional.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2013): It doesn't sound like he has done anything inappropriate other than chat to you about his interests and hobbies? Just because he is married doesn't mean he can't have friends, which it sounds like how he thinks of you. Because you like him you've made this out to be a huge deal in your head. You need to stop it and find someone single to focus your attention on.
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A
female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (9 November 2013):
What ever he is after, you deserve better than a man that is playing about.. walk away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2013):
 Does it matter if he is happy or not?
He withheld his "status" on purpose hoping you catch your interest as a single fella, because he WANTS to see himself as a interesting single fella not a married man. BUT if he was TRULY unhappy don't you think he would find a way to divorce his wife and do his thing?
I DO think some men stay because of the kids, but in this day and age, most men don't.
YET again, it really doesn't matter if he is HAPPY in his marriage or not. If you are looking for a single fella, HE ISN'T IT! Simple as that.
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A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (9 November 2013):
 A married man is still a married man, "happily" or not.
If he was "done with his wife" he would be divorced, or separated. Not all guys stay "just for the kids." Some men are just cheaters. THey get a trill out of having a girl on the side, and then go home and play "happy husband" with her.
If he was unhappy, he would leave. Period.
I'd advise you to keep your dealings with him strictly professional, sparse, and as brief as possible.
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A
female
reader, It'sgoodtotalk +, writes (9 November 2013):
Just sounds like someone wanting to connect with others about his interests and hobbies rather than his responsibilities as a father and husband.
What are you hoping to achieve? you think the crush could lead to the outcome of him leaving his family etc?
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