A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been together with my boyfriend for almost a year now. We haven't had sex yet, but the other night we both really wanted to. I was assuming that I'll stay at his place for the night, but he told me that he can't have me over. We go to the same college and live in different places. He has his own room in a house, so I didn't understand why it was a problem for him to have me over. I told him that i would like to stay the night with him and he said no. He said he likes his space. We go out almost every weekend and he always tells me that he loves me. I don't understand why he didn't want me to stay the night. Does this mean that he's commitment phobic? Or is he just not serious about it? We joke around a lot and call each other names. After that night, I've been teasing him that he's a wimp and he doesn't like that. He took me to the mall today and bought me a pair of boots (one bc i really needed new boots n two bc he STILL hadn't gotten me a christmas present). On the drive back, he asked me jokingly if I still thought he was a wimp. He has rarely ever bought anything for me, except for when we go out to fancy dinners. Is he serious about this relationship?
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (17 March 2013):
If he's been your boyfriend for nearly a year you should be close enough to talk easily and openly about what you both do and don't want. That would be much better than asking us to guess. He obviously didn't want you to stay the night. The backache sounds like an excuse. There are hundreds of possible explanations, only you can find the real one. Don't be afraid to tell him you were disappointed he didn't want to be with you. Just be honest and maybe a bit sad, but not angry. Good luck.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (17 March 2013):
 that is a bit odd. i typically would jump straight to something fishy going on if this were me. i can't speculate or say so for certain, but it is rather bizarre for a guy to be with you for a whole year, yet not let you stay at his house.
have you ever been inside of his house? as in, ever hung out there? if you have, and you've met all of his roommates, it's possible that he just really does like his space.
it's also possible that he's seeing another girl and was having her over that night so he had to have you leave. i know this isn't pleasant, but throwing out all possibilities.
if you have never been there before, is it possible that he's living with another girl? doubtful, but just throwing that out there.
either way, something strange is going on. i would definitely get to the bottom of it. good luck!
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A
female
reader, sherrig +, writes (17 March 2013):
There could be a couple reasons why he did not want you to go to his house, he might have too much respect for you, or someone else lives at his house with him. My sister had a boyfriend, that wouldn't go to her house, and didn't want her at his. My sis told me, there is something fishy going on, so she snuck over to his house, and found he lived there with his wife when he wasn't out partying with girls. Also, if he can buy boots, he can pay for a motel room. Sounds like you need to do some detective work, and find out what's up. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2013): Maybe he hasn't slept with you because he's gay?
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