A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey everyone, this is about a problem i have that happens at random times of the week usually. somedays I get depressed like in a instant for no reason and I hate when people put me down cuz i act as if it doesnt affect me at all but deep down it does. i dont understand why i have this feeling sometimes at all, i dont have close friends or relatives to tell and i dont wanna tell my girlfriend. when i get depressed i cry wondering why everything bad happened in my life. I usually go on chat and meet friends and let them know my problems but its not the same when you tell someone face to face. My school counsellor listened to me afew times but after awhile i stopped seeing her cuz i felt like i was being a burden to her. im a nice guy, i dont do drugs, im not in a gang or anything like that. does this make me a coward? and does anyone have advice to cure depression of at least lessen the pain? (note: without the use of drugs plus I drink 3 cans of pop a day)
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): You're not a coward. You are a really brave and strong person to keep carrying on even when you are feeling bad, and the fact that you want to improve yourself and feel better just shows it even more.I have had a lot of counselling, and I also used to feel guilty, like I was a burden on them. Do you think you could see this counsellor again, or someone else, and try telling them that you feel like a burden on them? They will probably be used to people feeling that way, and will be able to work with you to find out why you feel like that.And everyone cries sometimes. I am like you, I am quite sensitive, and I can take unpleasant comments to heart. I can be strong in the big challenges of life, then something small will happen and have me in pieces! So there is nothing wrong with crying.I do think though that you could really benefit from having someone to talk to, which is why I would encourage you to give counselling another try. It does sound like you are a bit depressed at the moment, and feeling guilty and like a burden is just another sign. However, it might lead to you starting to isolate yourself from other people, which would make things harder.Don't worry about not wanting to take medication to help. They are usually only prescribed as a last resort anyway, there are lots of other things which can help you feel better, which a doctor or counsellor can advise on.I hope you are able to get the help and support you need. And remember, you are NOT a coward at all. You are doing really well, and you have my full respect and encouragement. x
A
male
reader, Dr T  +, writes (8 July 2009):
Dont worry about the 3 cans of pop mate!You sound a bit frustrated, its natural. Allow yourself to experience the feelings. If you feel sad then allow it, dont instantly think you shouldnt feel that way. This is your life and at that moment if you feel sad or low or hurt then that is fine. We cannot all be happy all the time, its a myth. To feel sad at times is natural, dont try to force it too much.People can be cruel to each other and it hurts. This is true for most people. When people say harsh things to you its more than likely a defense mechanism for them, they want to put you down before you can do it to them. They feel insecure and think that everyone can see their weakness and flaws so they strike first. See that situation for what it is. This is how most of us feel, if you said something harsh to them it would hurt too. But you choose to rise above this. Good for you man. This doesnt make you a coward, this makes you strong. You have the strength to acknowledge your feelings and sought out help from your councellor to make you a better man, that takes a lot of courage mate.I would go back to the counsellor, that is what they get paid for so dont feel you are a burden. If you dont like that one at school perhaps you can get find another counsellor (community services should be able to help you there)You say you dont do drugs or hang in gangs, good for you man! Again, that shows you have strength of character and the courage to take your own path in life rather than follow the herd.As mister.m is suggesting: some exercise is always good, good food, lots of fresh air. Good things cant be bad.This is OK man, a lot of people go through this and alas a lot of people dont have the courage to want to change or to accept how they feel at the time -be it all the time or, as you say, from time to time.You sound like a good guy, you will get there man!Peace.Dr T.
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A
male
reader, mister.m  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Try some hard style martial arts, like Muay Thai. It brings you great discipline, confidence and self-control. It changed my life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): I think those who really want help and really want to change without burdening their loved ones should seek professional help, well therapy. It sounds difficult and what not, but it will help you figure out yourself a lot more than you could on your own. I hope you make give it serious thought.
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