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female
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anonymous
writes:What would make a man lose his erection during sex? My b/f, sometimes loses his erection halfway into our lovemaking. I wonder if he's losing interest in me? He seems to start out okay, he wakes up with an erection, we start messing around, we begin to have sex, but then sometimes he just "peters" out and doesn't get to climax. I don't think it's anything I'm doing wrong but it is sort of messing up my confidence in the bedroom. Any ideas what could be going on? He doesn't seem to be depressed or bothered by any weighty topics. Does this just happen with age?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): Yes, it does happen with age. When Viagra was tested for FDA approval, the ages of subjects was 24 to 87, with a mean age of 58. ED can happen at any age, but is normally unusual before 50. Some men are fine into their 80s, while others can have problems in their 40s or earlier. Do a Google search on erectile dysfunction and you find a lot of medical literature on it. A man can have ED even though he can get an erection, but cannot maintain it. There are different stages of ED. For instance, a man may be able to maintain an erection, but if he tries to change positions he will lose it. He may also lose it during intercourse in one position. These are both less severe cases of ED.
Waking up with an erection is normal, but will not happen with severe cases of ED. This is one test to see if a man's ED is physical or emotional. They sometimes use a sleep lab to see if he gets an erection during sleep. If he does then it is likely not physical. Men get erections throughout the night when they dream. Research has shown that the subject of the dream is not important. It can be about anything, not just sex. He needs to see a doctor to determine if the problem is physical or emotional.
I seriously doubt that it is you, but do as one person suggested and try it at another time during the day when the 2 of you can take the time to get turned on. If he cannot get an erection under the proper conditions then it might be loss of desire. However, there are conditions that make getting an erection more difficult. Cold is one of them. If it is cold then the body sends blood to the important organs. The penis is not one of these. For instance, if your hands are cold and you touch it, that will result in an immediate loss of erection.
Don't worry about it being you until he gets a medical opinion of the problem. You didn't say his age, but if he is over 50 then it is likely ED. However, it can happen at any age. There are meds, like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra that can help if necessary.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): These people who are telling you it can't be a medical problem are wrong. There is a valve in the blood vessel at the base of the penis which can become inefficient with age and for all sorts of reasons including cholesterol and circulation disorder. Blood pumps in and the penis becomes erect but the valve is no good at holding it inside. It can be medical, I know all about it, so ignore the people who are guessing. If he gets an erection in the first place it has nothing to do with a lack of desire for you. I do wish some people who don't know what they are talking about would leave off. Don't worry, get the tests and you will soon be all sorted.
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reader, Samutsen  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 My bets guess is your guy somehow loses interest, motivation, provocation and concentration. If it was a medical reason why would it get erect in the first place. Stress is a huge harm to the sex but you say he doesnt have that.It does not have to do anything with you. If it is occuring regularly you first need to talk about it openly see what he thinks about it and consider seeing a specialist.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Sorry the last person did not know but it is a problem to do with age. My partner has it. He needs a check with the doc because it can be caused to the start of blocked blood vessels. The one that goes to the penis is fine-width and is the first part to show blockage and it can herald heart disease. It can be caused by other things too like diabetes, stress or too much alcohol. He needs a check for cholesterol etc etc. Try not to worry, there are all sorts of things that can be done like Viagra and a new drug called Cialis which lasts longer. What you have said, is exactly what happens to my guy. He is turned on, he wants to go ahead but is just flops. Awful and it affects you too, read up on it. Good luck. PS We have loads of sex, more than I have ever had in my life so try not to get too worried.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): The clue here is that he wakes up with an erection. This is quite normal. I've no idea why, but it nearly always happens when the man has a full bladder. Once he's had a pee it'll disappear as if by magic.
This is not an erection induced by any sexual feelings unless he's been dreaming about them. However, it's useful for a few minutes worth of humping, which isn't to say the sexual enjoyment is any less. It sometimes disappears after a while when the urge to go to the toilet becomes dominant, whether he realises it or not.
Try bonking at some other time, then you'll know it's a 'genuine' erection and you'll get a bit more mileage out of it. I can assure you it won't be anything to do with you if it disappears first thing in the morning after he first wakes. So please - keep your confidence intact!
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Check out articles on erectile dysfunction because he has one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): this happens to me as well do u wear a condom...maybe thats it...
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male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 No - age has no impact. You say "sometimes" this happens. The first person to ask is him. What does he say ? Sometimes men have an idea what's causing it.
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