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female
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*able13
writes: i'm 37, he's 38. he chased me for 7 months. we hooked-up about 2 wks. he got mad i had a guys # and wouldn't talk to me for 6 mo. got hooked-up again he said just booty call. got back again mainly booty call but he was finally asking questions like how come i wouldn't dat him b4 when i dated other guys. now we hooked up again as booty call but he has been asking more personal questions as if he is actually more trusting and interested again. he will meet me out at bar but never invites me out. we both have lots of friends but think he's done some flirting to my face. i don't get it, is he taking it slow just getting over his trust issues or is this going nowhere? please help :-)
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (19 January 2006):
 It doesn't come across to me as anything other than sex. The constant break ups, with a return to nothing more than the same relationship will have reinforced in his mind the idea that you're "useful" for one thing only, which I find unutterably sad.
Nothing in your letter suggests to me that he has any "trust issues". He seems to just like having sex with you, and the fact that you keep doing that without insisting on any respect or affection in return, seems to mean that he can continue to treat you as if you and your emotional needs aren't important.
If you're happy with what you're getting, then you're in luck, because I strongly doubt it will change. However, if you want love as well as sex, you might have to look elsewhere. At 38, this man isn't going to change into Mr Lovey-Dovey, when he's been Mr Tent-In-the-Pants for all the time up to now.
Sorry for the bad news.
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