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*onfuzed
writes: My ex and i split up about six months ago and i was absolutly distraught over it. I went so depressed i started eating for comfort and i put on a lot of wieght, plus his constant phone calls to remind me i was out of his life didn't help me much. I became a bad insomniac and had to be prescribed sleeping tablets. I started talking to an old friend on the internet again who i hadn't seen in a while. We always had a laugh when we spoke and i told him all about my break up. He already knew my ex and was telling me how much better i could do and how much he wasn't worth worrying about. I was happy someone outside of my world was saying that. It made it seem more real to me than my mother or best friends saying it to me.Well we spoke more and more often and we eventually swapped numbers and we began to text each other. We still didn't really speak to often but much more than we did before. But then all of a sudden we started talking more and more and texting each other loads. We arranged to meet up and have a friendly drink, we had swapped tales of our drunken antics and thought it would be very fun to see if we could tear the town apart together. So we met up and we wern't going to stay out long but ended up spending the whole night togther. It was really fun and we talked all about different things. I learned about his sort of girl friend thing - only she wasn't his girl friend as she said she didn't want to be and she wouldn't ever really do anything with him like go out to places. He said he couldn't be bothered with her anymore and was tired of her messing about with him because she would tell him that she loved him but then behave in the way she did.I didn't really think much of it and didn't really think i liked him at all and then we went out again. We had such a laugh and i realised that i do actually like him and quite fancy him. The thing is i'm not sure at all how he feels about me. We have been out many times since and everytime we do go out we have such a laugh. We have a few drinks and we always end up kissing. He isn't a very confident person at all and i don't think he knows how to trust women so he is very weary of them. The other girl is young and immature he can control her easily and make sure he doesn't get hurt like he has done in the past but me, i am new and he can't really do that with me, plus i have a lot of relatioship experience. When we are out he tells me how beautiful he thinks i am an how much he really likes me and he doesn't understand why i like him. I really do like him though and i think he is fun to be around and nice looking. He tells me he knows were not in the same league but none of that matters to me. Every time we are together we have so much fun and we talk about how much we like eachother - much of this is done drunekly though and this is what makes me really unsure of hsi feelings for me because he starts the conversations not me and i think is he saying it just because he is drunk. I'm too scared to ask him when he is sober because i just couldn't handle the rejection. When i stay over at his we always cuddle and kiss when we are sober. Its so nice and would make it seem like he really likes me the way he tells me he does when he has had a few. We also mess about and have toy fights and so there is definatly a good connection between us and we can talk about anything.Now this other girl must have got on to the fact someone else is in the picture because he isn't adoring her as much as he used too and isn't asking her to go places with him so all of a sudden she has decided she would like to make their relationship exclusive and because they have been sort of dating for a while i think i will be pushed aside. I really don't want this to happen to me but most of all i don't want it to happen to him because of the way he already is he will become more untrusting of women and less confident - even though i doubt you can't get any less confident than he is. I am so unsure of his feelings for me and i would really love for us to become much more than friends because i really like him and i have so much fun with him. I'm so confused and don't know what to do or what to say. Should i stand aside and let her be with him or do i take the plunge and get him myself? I mean i'm really not trying to steal her boyfriend or anything because that is evil and un-called for, i just want to know if he says he likes me when he has had a few for the moment or if he actually feels that for me and is too scared to say anything when he is sober because he is scared of rejection too. I mean he already feels i am too good looking to be interested in him anyway. What do you think is going on?
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best friend, depressed, drunk, immature, kissing, my ex, split up, text, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (14 June 2006):
 dear reader. Woow!! that was long winded lol.
anyway to the point, if he hasn't made his mind up about making the relationship more then i think you should talk to him quick it might be what his waitting for. don't see it as taking her man you need to think of your happiness and also his.
he has aready told you he likes you and thinks you beautiful so there sounds to be something there.
i hope things work out for you
keep me posted and all the best xxx
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (14 June 2006):
 It's hard to know what's going on, although it looks to me like he's enjoying having a steady girlfriend (her) and the thrill of a new relationship too (you.)
This might be a bit blunt, but it might help. Next time you're out drinking and laughing and kissing (Actually it sounds like he's much more interested in you than in his girlfriend... Where is she by the way, when all this is going on?) say to him "If you were single, I'd really go for you".
See where it takes you. But if he hems and haws and doesn't indicate a similar level of interest, then you have to accept that he's not ready to break up with the girlfriend. Please don't be the Other Woman. If you want him, he has to make a break from her first. Fair's fair.
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