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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am curious about this. I know my husband loves me but I feel that he is embarrassed by me. Here is my reason: he doesn't seem to want me to speak or hang out with any of his friends (both male and female,) and behaves as if when I do speak to them I say embarrassing things. He doesn't introduce me and acts embarassed whenever I do get the chance to talk to them.I am a cheerful person and I like to tell jokes (not off color jokes, just regular jokes,) I'm pretty intelligent so I like to discuss current events and history, and I also like to discuss my interests, (which are the same as my husband's interests such as video games, movies, and t.v.) I do not behave differently than his friends, in fact I think I would get along with them all really well if given the chance to know them. Another thing I notice is he never talks about me to them at all. They know he is married but that's it. I also notice, for example, that on twitter (his only followers are his friends and me,) he always retweets this one girl's (call her Beth) accomplishments despite the fact that all of his friends are her friends, so they already see it the first time. But he never does that for me, and none of his friends follow me or anything... It would be nice because I write online and often post my artwork and articles (which go along with our interests, so it would be a big help to me.) I always retweet his accomplishments, etc. And I always send out information on his work.Also when Beth did something nice for him he made big note of it and saying thank you to her on the internet, over and over again, and still brings it up a month later about how great she is. I work really hard to help my husband out with his work behind the scenes, but he never acknowledges me to anyone. He always makes it sound like he does it all by himself.Maybe I'm jealous, but I feel invisible and I feel like he wants my support but not to let anyone know I'm there. I don't really feel like I"m part of his life. I always feel his friends are more important. It also makes me feel like he's trying to portray me as the "annoying wife who doesn't support what I do," which is 100% oposite of the truth...It makes me really sad and hurt. I just don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advice.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 'I feel like he wants my support but not to let anyone know I'm there'...That about sums it up in my opinion. He isn't in love with you. He's using you as a security blanket. He wants you to give but gets annoyed when you expect something in return.It sounds less like he's embarrassed by you and more like he's afraid that if his friends got to know you they might like you better and see him for what he really is. There is a tactful way of encouraging someone to get to the point besides 'Get to the point' 'Yeah, yeah, I don't care' and 'Instead of standing there talking, do the dish/cooking'. Your husband is extremely rude.You're not doing yourself, or him, any favours by continuing to give him your unconditional love and support. He doesn't need to earn your respect and approval because he already has it, no matter how badly he behaves.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): This does seem like some strange behaviour. Sometimes people do want to keep their family life seperate from their friends, and that is understandable, but not to this extent. I think you will have to directly ask him, or at least, mention that you want to be included more
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhen we're alone he is very nice to me, spends lots of time, always cuddles with me, (he initiates it,) and so on. He does get annoyed at me talking sometimes. Like if I try to tell a story about my dayhe says "get to the point" or "yeah, well, I don't care" or "instead of standing there talking go do (dishes, cook dinner, etc.)" But he's not always like that, just when he's in a bad mood. He asks my advice on things, he shares his worries, hopes, and plans with me. But when it comes to other people he wants me invisible. I don't understand. :( When in public he sometimes holds my hand, but also a lot he walks faster than me and stays ahead. But his friends have never seen him cuddle or hold my hand. When we first go together he said, "Get used to PDA because I want everyone to know you're my girl." Not anymore, I guess. :( but I thought a lot of this was because our relationship is matured and also guys aren't chatty like girls.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 September 2011):
 You sure your husband loves you? I'd sit him down and ask him about ALL of this. It doesn't sound like he loves or respects you very much. I'd get this out in the open immediately. If he doesn't recognize this very bad behavior AND take steps to correct it, then maybe it's time to split the blanket.
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