A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been interested in this man who is currently casually dating. We just went out several times. Other than me, I know he has other women he's casually going out with too. I am online almost always and when I see him online at Skype, I wanted to say hi but I didn't want to seem so desperate and hence sometimes I held back. It was hard! But I tried my best to ignore his presence. And sometimes he would go offline without saying Good Night or even a hi. He admitted that he always go on Skype, which I believe is to video chat with some women he's been going out with too. If he would say Good night to them before sleep, which means he thought of her/them. On the other hand, he's not doing the same to me.Is this showing that he's no reciprocating the feelings I have for him? I don't see a very clear clue so I would like to get some opinions from the men. Is this saying that he's not as interested in me as he is in other women? He's quite mature for his age so I am very sure it's not involving any mind games. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): All you can do is try to chat with him next time you see him online. Karlos5021 has a point, how is he supposed to know you're interested if you don't show it? Don't play games, that will drive a person away faster than anything else. You won't seem desperate, so don't worry about it. If talking to him makes you desperate, then doesn't it make him desperate when he talks to those other women? If he still doesn't seem interested after you've put in the effort, then you'll have your answer and you can move on. Only talk to him if you're okay with him still talking to and seeing other women, though. From what you said, it doesn't really seem like he wants anything serious right now. If you try to make him be exclusive with you, you'll probably just end up getting hurt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2012): To be honest, if you never bother to pop up and chat with him, he probably assumes you're not interested in anything other than the odd dates with him. On the other hand, he may not even be aware you're online if you don't chat, hence why he doesn't want to waste his time saying goodnight to you.
To set the record straight, it sounds like you need to show some more interest in him online too, he's never going to read your mind, or hang around for you if he doesn't know how you feel for that matter...
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2012):
 I know I am not male but I would like to give my opinion anyway. You say you have feelings for this man and you wonder if he returns them, my guess is that no he doesn't because if he did he would not be dating others he would commit to you. He is enjoying just having casual dates at the moment and nothing serious. As for skype well he are just assuming he is on talking to other women all the time and saying good night to them and thinking about them ect. But you cannot be 100% sure that is what he is doing. Either way I am scared that you might actually get hurt by this man if you are not careful. You need to ask yourself what it is you want from him if you are beginning to get serious about him and he is not returning that factor that is clear warning signs to stay away.
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