A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I wrote the post "We had our first kiss and it wasnt magic as expected! Now what?" few days ago. After the advice i got from my lovely aunties here i was on my way to end things with him but before that i asked my trusted friend what she thinks about the guy (she never met him yet). From what i told her about him, she said that he is GAY! What?? This is what i told her about my new boyfriend :" He is super clean, he has many female friends and connects well with his sisters than brothers. He has a weird male to female voice and he writes me those romantic texts that sound like someone's love song lyrics or he would dedicate chris brown to me before i go to sleep. He is very sensitive sometimes if i dont answer my phone he gets emotional only to find that he only called me once just to tell me hi. Funny. He keeps telling me that he is scared of some gangsters around my place (which happen to have existed 10-20years ago), which is awkward that he still feels the need to be afraid. So everytime i have to visit him when he wants to see me because "he is afraid". Besides the fact that we didnt have a special kiss whenever he comes next to my area ive to meet him halfway because "he is scared" then take him to his place and come back alone. He seems to know a lot about women fashion and style he told me that if it happens that he doesnt like my panty he will buy me new ones. He knows all the collection he knows women's hairstyles too and even the people who plaint them best. He told me he wants to do one of those hairstyles in a joking manner (but now i doubt). He brought a transgender(and always ask me about homosexuals relating them to himself in a joking manner) topic and asked me if i am transgender and how would i feel if he was one. We just laughed according to him he does not support transgender relationships so i just said "ok"." He is a funny guy and claims to have it all "the full package" that is what he calls himself. Oh he is a ladies man most females know him and adore him but he has guy friends too. He claims to have had three serious relationships in the past with females and only the last one affected him badly. He also says that he used to be a player in the past now he has changed and would like to have a serious relationship with me. My curiousity let me yesterday into asking him if he is gay he just laughed at me and said he wasnt. Tell me could he be gay/transgender in the closet(he dresses like guys)? Ive never been in this type of situation i broke up with him anyway. .what do you say? Thank you.
View related questions:
broke up, player, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2016): thank you all. WiseOwl my neighbourhood is not different from his neighbourhood. He is the only person that ive ever heard saying that they are afraid to step into my area. He is weak and a coward someone that i realise now that he is not meant to be mine. I strongly agree with WhenCowsAttack.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 July 2016):
 Transgender men *are* men, WiseOwlE. They don't always have evidence in their crotch of it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2016): If you have too many unanswered questions about a guy, that is a bold-faced warning he is not the guy for you. You're not even sure of his gender and sexual-orientation?
Seriously?!!
Men have evidence of their gender, just by the visible contents of our crotch area. Press your body against ours and you'll know. Guys who never even make a pass at you and just play around with pretty words and sweet-talk; but never back them up, are more likely to be gay. There's an old song, "It's in his kiss!" If there was no magic, there was no feeling.
If you live in a rough neighborhood with gang activity, it's common-sense not to spend too much of his time around such an area. Being meticulous about his hygiene is stereotyping. Straight-men can be just as fastidious about their hair and clothing. Few are generally apt in feminine style and glamour; unless they are in the industry as a profession.
He laughed off your question if he was gay, but he hasn't given much evidence to prove otherwise. Assume that he is, and accept him for it. Give-up on trying to make him your boyfriend. He's safer in the friend-zone.
...............................
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (2 July 2016):
I think he was just messing around.
But I must agree that it is not cool to send you home alone like that. If he's so afraid then why isn't he afraid for you, a young female who is probably not as physically strong as him? If it is so dangerous then concern for you should override any fear of his own safety.
Personally I think he's just a jerk and using that as an excuse to be lazy.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 July 2016):
 From what you wrote, you can't say he is gay. Your friend doesn't know what she is talking about. Gay isn't a neon sign on the forehead, you can not see that anyone is gay unless they are open about it and tell you that they are. I am active in the gay community and know many gay men and women, both open and still in the closet. You can NOT tell what sexuality someone has based on what they say, how they dress, or how many female/male friends they have. All those things speak of their PERSONALITY, not their sexual reference.
And if he has been interested in you for years, and went on a date with you, and you are a woman, it is fair to say he is interested in women. Anything else is just pointless speculation, and your friend was probably just jealous that you had a date with a popular man, so felt a need to talk it down and make you feel worthless. I mean, if she claims he is gay, then she is also saying that he didn't go out with you because he actually likes you or finds you attractive. Which I think is a petty comment coming from a "friend".
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 July 2016):
Not gay or transgender. I also would not call him a "p***y" because I find that degrading and unfair - most areas are dangerous, some more than others and there could very well be gang activity near you still.
He's not for you, that's obvious, so you've broken up and can move on without another thought :)
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 July 2016):
 He sounds just like your average metrosexual to me.
If he is afraid of gangsters in your area and then he sends you back home alone... then , yeah he is a pu..y. But in a metaphorical sense, not a literal one.
...............................
|
