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female
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*lamgirl
writes: hi everyone,just wondering..do you think taking a break from a relationship helps ?
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female
reader, Sweet Singer  +, writes (6 January 2012):
I think it can be depending on your situation. Me and my guy just started a break. At first he told me we need to slow down on our relationship then the next day he told me that he has to let me go for now until he gets a job then we can hang out in the near future. I know he loves me, he was the one who first said it after being together for a couple days. I had just gotten out of a serious relationship so I wasn't ready to make that commitment yet. But after a week I saw myself falling again. I think this break is gonna be a good one for us, being we are 9 years apart in age and our parents don't really approve of it, but we don't care because we care for one another. And the fact that I had just been heartbroken a month before we got togeth
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female
reader, gracedamato  +, writes (27 September 2011):
I think it most certainly helps a lot of relationships. On the other hand it might not help at all like in my relationship when we broke up for a month and he kept calling. I finally went back to him but things have just gotten worse. The very issues that broke us up still exists and that was 7 years ago. Then you hear of other stories that when people break up for a while and they realize they really miss each other and really do CHANGE...EVEN TO THE POINT OF GETTING A MAN TO MARRY YOU! I feel now after 16 years of being together things have gotten worse...in my case. Now I feel that he just wan't to be left alone and doesn't care or is attracted to me anymore. I also feel now that if we broke up, he would go out with someone else, so you can loose someone you love by taking "A BREAK"
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2010): I'm going through a break in a three year relationship now, and it's really a pretty tough and confusing time. I was ready to commit and get married, she felt like she had more growing up to do. I understand completely, and I have accepted that the most likely result is that this is the end of our relationship. However, I KNOW that our feelings for each other are true, and we could end up back together. The uncertainty of it all really sucks. My best advice is to consider it a real break up, yet know that you still love each other and things could change in the future. Try to spend some time working on yourself, getting in shape or improving at your hobbies. Spend time with friends, and don't go looking for some cheap thrills. However, you can be open to meeting new people, and possibly dating as long as you take things very slowly. It's a fragile and difficult process so far. Good luck.
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reader, aew4 +, writes (21 October 2010):
I believe that every relationship is different.That a break is a good thing for some and a bad thing for others. Your gonna have to decide if its right for your relationship. If the other person wants a break and you don't then I think its best you take the time away from each other, to not just wait, but decide for yourself if you want to continue the relationship. If it's you who wants to take a break, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, don't drag the person a long, break up with them, its not fair to them that your to scared to do it. They need to begin to move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): Don't use the phrase "taking a break" to have "time-off" from each other if you still have feelings for him. If you think there is a hiccup in your relationship then just take some "time-off" and go hang out with your family and friends more than you would with him. Taking a break is not going to do much if you're still technically in the relationship and not broken up so there isn't much of a difference. It's either break up completely and get back if you start missing each other or just spend less time with him and more with your family and friends to recollect your thoughts and feelings. This reminds me of a lyric "Even lovers need a holiday" so go take your holiday (not with him) to think things through. Good Luck :-)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2008): breaks can be good, but are insanely difficult to go through. it is important, as many people have suggested, to lay down mutual terms of the break: Can you date other people? Kiss other people? Fool around with other people? Or will fidelity to the relationship still be maintained? How long will we break before initiating contact again?Sometimes people need to step back from a relationship to gain perspective. It doesn't mean its over. Some of the most successful couples I know have taken a break over the course of their relationship.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): YES!! YES!!! YES!!!! It does depend on the couple, but taking a break can certainly work! I am now on a break and I have learned so much... It is very good to think about what you both want, but well, the real answer is, it works if you take it seriously and you really do not talk to each other during the break and it is long enough of a break to untangle your heart, yeah? So go ahead and take that break!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): Taking a break means breaking up. If breaking up is better than being together, than yes. I myself have done the "break" thing, hoping that what we really needed was space. Clearly we did need space, and lots of it. A break is a way to run from problems. If you want that relationship to work than a break from it is the opposite of what you need.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2007): I am on a break that started yesterday, and I have to admit I am old fashioned and believe it will work out because of the way I treated her. Nobody will ever match it. But, a break is most likely never going to work out and it is a cowards way of breaking up nicely.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): Hello dear, breakup in relationship helps alot, with the experience I have got in the past. But it really depends on the breakup, cox some partner breakup when they had misunderstanding with their partner, while some breakup come up, as a kind of agreement with both partner to say dear let us have a breakup and we can resume back or let always meet together in so so week or month, to enable us understand ourselves more better.
So on this kind breakup helps alot in a relationship.
I think this will help you
Best of luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): i am actually going to go against the grain and say that breaks do help sometimes.
for example, i am 18 and have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. hes the stable type; i was the one with the commitmentphobia. about 4 months into the relationship i asked for a break just to make sure he was what i wanted before we got in too deep. it was ultimately a still-be-tied-to-eachother-but-date-around break and we both saw other people. we dated other people, we kissed other people, but no more than that. about 2-3 months later, we couldnt stand being apart anymore and we got back together. we realized we had no connection with anyone else.
now, because we realized that early on, we have a wonderful relationship.
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reader, hannieseds  +, writes (12 December 2006):
 I agree with Dr Pete on this one.
It sucks big time that your relationship reaches a point where one of you puts out the 'lets take a break' idea out there, but if you love each other that much, then yes, it can be the best thing for the relationship.
We were together 5 years, I got drunk, beat the shit out of him and he needed time to decide if he could still be with me. So we had a 'trial separation' for a week with no contact ( I stayed at a friends). We laid down the rules and fuck the week was hard, but if you look at us now, a year on, you would never have guessed that we reached that point.
If a specific incident has occured, like mine, then time apart (just to sort out your head, none of this 'but we were on a break so I thought it was okay to sleep with her' shit) can work wonders. You come back at the end of your set time away and you are clear headed and can talk rationally and carmly.
I guess some relationships don't benefit from a 'break' but, speaking from experience (and it is the only break we have had) I can say they they certainly can, and they can improve your relationship in so many ways.
Just make sure to lay down ground rules and be sure you are both clear on when you are meeting back up to talk etc, like Dr Pete said.
Honestly babe, if you love this man then a break really can work.
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Yes. I think they can help. Sometimes people need a bit of distance from one another to work out exactly what has gone wrong.
I certainly don't mean to say this is necessary, or even works in every relationship, but it does in some.
If you, or your partnerm is proposing a break then I would advice that you talk about the terms of it. Will you remain faithful to each other? How long will it be for? Will you promise to spend x amount of time without contacting each other?
If your relationship is going through a rough patch then a break isn't going to cause you to break up unless you are ultimately going to break up any way. In fact, it may bring things ahead quicker. On the other hand, distance apart might make you see things in a clearer, more positive perspective and you may both return to each other afresh and able to get through whatever your problems are.
I would be careful, though, to not make a habit of leaving each other in times of crisis. Relationships get through difficult times by using good communication, not by avoiding each other. A break should always be considered an absolute last resort to trying to fix a relationship.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (11 December 2006):
 A break, space and time are all the same thing. Its pretty much over. You won't look at the person the same way, especially if the other person asked for the break because normally they have other motives. In my experience when someone asks for a break either they have started riding another horse or they have dusted off the saddle and looking for propects.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): Taking breaks is pretty much breaking up like martini + said because even if you have feeling for one another you will never feel the same as you did when you where together and infact 94% of all couples who take a break do not get back together and the others mostly break it off eventually.If you need a break then he/she is not the right one for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2006): IMO, I don't believe in breaks. To me, it's the same as breaking up. It's really just a play on words if you think about it - with or without set criteria, cuz ultimately, things can go either way - back together, or far apart.
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