A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing this girl for a few months. She turned round to me one day saying that she just wanted to be friends because she had feeling for her ex boyfriend. Although she said she still had feelings for me as well and like us equally. I ended up falling out with her cause of arguements I started. Over christmas she got back with her ex for I guess only a couple of weeks. I know this cause we made up after christmas and went out to the cinema and we kinda got on to that subject. She said he was a dick and that she finished it with him. I really want to know now whether she still has any feelings for me and if we could start seeing each other again. Is there anyway of finding out without asking or if I do ask how do I go about it without ruining things between us? please help !.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2007): dude, she clearly doesn't like you in the way you want. the fact that she still wanted to see her ex before you should tell you that..
1) she's already looking for someone else
2) even to a dick, you're #2
3) she doesn't respect you
4) when a girl says something to let you down easy, it's ALWAYS worse than what's she's saying. (i.e. - "i like you both 50/50" really means "i like him more" trust me.)
5) you're going to be jealous and insecure even if you do get back together, she's already planted the "you're not good enough" seed in your head, even if you don't realize it yet.
6) etc. etc.
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bottom line: YOU NEED TO MOVE ON. you have no other options. she doesn't respect you and the seed of jealousy is planted, BOTH of which is impossible to get over..
A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (1 February 2006):
 Proceed with caution I would say. This girl seems very confused at the moment about who and what she wants. As such I would be reluctant to ask her now about her feelings about her ex.
I would say that the best thing that you can do is build a rapport with her. Maybe see her as and when the opportunity presents itself and focus on having fun together. Avoid the heavy topics for now. If you press her it may well make her feel pressurised. If however you work on recreateing the rapport you previously had then hopefuloly she will open up of her own accord.
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