A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I broke up with my gf of one year on our anniversary. i was apologizing nearly 3 hours after i did it and wanted to talk to her and make it better, during our one month split, we were still contacting each other and she even let me keep some stuff at her house. little did i know during this 1 month split, she was sleeping with a coworker of ours and they had sex 4-5 times, hung out all the time, watched movies and such. the thing is, after we got back together after our 1 month split, she didnt tell me about this until two weeks back into our relationship, she lied about it for TWO WEEKS. i was wondering why she decided to go back with me especially since her and her coworker were pretty much dating and she said once she had time to think on her own without the distractions of other people, she realized what she really wanted. however later i found out that they got in a huge fight and she left his house all pissed off and then he said he still had feelings for his ex gf and then they stopped hanging out and she started hanging out with me again. i feel like she was just keeping me on the back burner while she had her fling, and once she realized that it wasnt going to work between them, she came back to me. i love her so much and im happy i have her back. things arent necessarily bad in our relationship now, its just i have a hard time believing that she doesnt still have feelings for him. like i said, ive already forgiven her for it, and i honestly believed she has changed since this experience. weve both hurt a lot over it and she knows how much it has damaged this relationship. also, we WERE broken up so its not like i can hold it over her head because she was single at the time and i wouldve done the same thing given the opportunity. however, i need advice from a neutral point of view. is what she did so bad that no excuse i make up for her will make it right to get back with her. am i blinded by love and cant see the obvious flaws here. any thoughts?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): What is mainly significant of your situation is the fact that YOU broke up with her in the first place. Speaking from experience, she would have felt very much rejected and therefore would have automatically wanted reassurance (of her attractiveness etc) and comfort. Her co-worker was obviously acting as such.
I understand the hurt you feel from this situation, however I would believe her when she says she realised what she wanted- YOU. Believe me she would not be with you otherwise.
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