A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The girl I'm attracted to doesn't show much of herself. She conserves as many feelings as she can inside of her, but I want to know if she likes me. She is also best friends with a friend of mine, and he says that she is happy to talk to me and me switching to her class. This is a good source for me to know her likes. I just have trust issues. I believe him in some of the things he tells me because i assured they were by doing my own research. How can I tell if she likes me, or not? It's really killing me inside because i'm starting to like her more everyday. I know some people tell me to just ask her straight forwardly, but i am afraid of getting ridiculed, and/or rejected.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat answer is completely of the topic of my question....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): 1. Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the "friend zone", this is especially important. Girls don't like guys who have no lives, and who cling to them like plastic wrap. Actually, some girls do like that, but usually for all the wrong reasons--either they're insecure and needy for attention, or they're control freaks who like to dominate guys. Unless you want to sign up for either of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interests, and goals.
2. Make an impression. There's no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill or talent that you're proud of, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too.
3. Flirt. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact. Smile. Strike up a casual conversation. Most importantly, relax. Don't think of her as the girl of your dreams; don't worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke, or you've got something stuck to your teeth. Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. Live in the moment.
4. Talk to her. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and what you want to leap out of bed to pursue. Ask her what she really loves in life and what gets her excited. Be positive. If you have had a bad day, still greet them with pleasure and a big smile. Most importantly, listen.
5. Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles and chocolate) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique, and find/do things for them that only they would appreciate. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? Whenever she's shopping, talking, or watching a movie, what makes her eyes light up? Pay attention! Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know--better than anyone else in the world--what makes her unique.
6. Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she's stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your elbow so she can link arms with you as you walk together. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd. Rub her hands when they're cold. These are all polite ways to get a little closer without being creepy. Still, if you see any signs of discomfort, stop! Otherwise, she'll probably enjoy the affection.
7. Compliment her. If you really like this girl, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt), make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be, unless she's shallow. Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other girls have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills.
8. Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is the classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only one. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Be bold and think of some antics that'll make her laugh. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it's not dangerous or illegal, of course).
9. Ask her out. Invite her to go somewhere or do something with you--make sure it's something that you're both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something that you're proud of. Or, express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis. Or, just go out for lunch or a cup of coffee and get to know her better.
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