A
male
age
30-35,
*rchandlerbing
writes: At the beginning of the school year, I was coming off of some very difficult situations and was emotionally clingy and needy. I had just spent 2 years in homeschooling and was virtually inept in social situations. And I fell in love. This girl, we can call her Jasmine, did not return the feelings. For four months this went on, and she'd get angry at me for being "clingy", which I was. Right before winter break, I finally asked her and she broke my heart with a very abrupt "not interested". It was this, coupled with other things that allowed me to grow up. I became a man and very adept at social situations, rising to one of the most popular and well-liked guys at the school. And coming back from Winter Break, till now in June, we became close. We'd always joke around, everyone thought we were together, etc. She helped me out with this other girl, helping me move on. Then she finally said she didn't want to hear about the other girl anymore. This was one of the first clues. Another, and it's hard to explain, are the looks she gives me. Like if we're talking and she goes into the bathroom and looks back at me, there's just something in that look. Recently we went to Prom, not together, but hung out. It went really well. Since then, it's been great. She's always been a flirty personality - that was one of the things that gave me the misconception she was into me before. But this seemed different. Instead of just flirting, she'd hit me on the arm playfully, would let me give her hugs (something she does not do for anyone), would play with things of mine. Like I brought a boardgame to school. She knew how to play because she said she'd learned before, but had me show her how, then she wrote my name out on the board with the pieces. She and I would have these long talks. We'd tease each other. I tried testing it, by lifting up her earrings and commenting on them and she would let me, or touching her face, which she would also let. I also told her I liked her hair better down, and the next day she wore it down but she often wears it down, so who knows. Before, she was hung up on this guy but recently (about a month ago) she dumped him, finally seeing him for the creep he was. She wouldn't let me see this book she was reading and it turned out to be a book on getting Mr. Right, but that could have been due to embarrassment. She started to confide certain things in me, tell me certain things about her day, etc. We recently did a film project together for school. Where last time she got mad at me for being clingy (and I was), this time she'll accuse me of following her (which I'm not), but in a joking way. She'll smile and say I was following her, stuff like that. She'll also ask me to cheer her up and says how funny I am, which a lot of people do, so, that probably means nothing. She also mentioned how much I've changed and improved. I don't know if she likes me or we're just becoming very close friends. I don't know... I still very much like her, even though I've shoved those feelings into a corner for six months, now they're out and raging on my mind. What should I do?
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fell in love, flirt, move on Reply to this Question Share |
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2009): Well this sure sounds confusing, but it sounds like she definately likes you more, whether as a friend or as more.
By letting you touch her face shows taht you two are close, but it might mean she's now interested in you...who knows, if you've matured more she might see something in you that she didn't before.
Try dropping hints to her, talking about if she's moved on from her previous boyfriend yet, has she got her eye on anybody? Tell her you're glad that you two are good friends, see how she reacts?
If her reactions to these are good, maybe you could tell her you like her as more than a friend, but explain to her that if she doesn't feel the same you're happy to just be friends.
Best of luck with this!
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