A
female
age
36-40,
*eizy
writes:I had a boyfriend when I was college. We lasted for almost two years but nothing sexual happened to us. In short, I am still a virgin. Then, I had a boyfriend again but I didn't allow him to have sex with me. Then, the third boyfriend, same story. These relationships I had ended up when I learned that they cheated on me. Is it wrong to be not physically having a contact with them? Does sex really matter? Is it really a need for a relationship?
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cheated on me, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2010): its natural. you haven't found the right guy yet. sex only matters in a proper relationship where both partners love each other. don't worry too much about being cheated on - its not a great thing, however, you are yet to share deep love with someone (i.e. sex, connection with someone etc.)
The stage you are at so far (its the guys too, not just you) is the social-relationship stage... it will never become serious, so not much point in it, you might as well stay single. :)
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (12 June 2010):
 "He can be in the presence of a woman and do some sexual stuff without having a 2-3 hour erection."
My mistake.. not my impression from my own experiences, but those have been based on love.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (12 June 2010):
 Both me and my boyfriend are virgin, even if we are, let's say, adults - he graduated college, I'm the last year. We've been going out for 9 months, but haven't had sex yet, because none of us seems to be ready. We touch, we cuddle, we hug, we make out a lot and we just enjoy each other's company.
Don't worry, if you're not ready, it's absolutely ok, since there are plenty fish in the sea who are inclined to be patient with you.
Also, you say you "didn't allow". Does that mean you're scared/not ready or simply your religion/education does not allow you to?
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (12 June 2010):
 Abstinence before marraige is fine. I didn't do it but i respect it. But if you want close relationships as you get older you will notice it's harder to find closeness in relationships, at least long term ones, without sex. If the person you are seeing knows how you feel early on then maybe you can grow together without sex,... for a while. But at some point it will become an issue.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Blue balls is what a man gets an erection that does not go down for about 2-3 hours or more. This is not going to happen normally unless he is sexually messing with a woman. He can be in the presence of a woman and do some sexual stuff without having a 2-3 hour erection.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 June 2010):
It's not wrong not to wish for sexual intercourse and to remain a virgin. However, men (and women) have desires, and in men especially going without sex when there is a beautifual attractive woman they love arround actually hurts in a physical way. You choose not to have sex, that is your right, but eventually most men (if not all) will need sexual relief from someone and will end up being unfaithfull to you.
Lack of sexual relief gives a man "blue balls", it hurts very, very much.
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