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female
,
anonymous
writes: I can see this is a normal question but I feel my situation is a little different. I found my boyfriend looking at porn the other night. I don't care that he looks at it, but I don't like him hiding it from me. We had sex the previous night and I asked him if he had looked at porn then. He answered yes. Now I feel like the porn turns him on better than I do. Should I be getting upset that he's turned on by it, then sleeping with me? Or is this a normal thing for men to do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): no.
heaps of guys do and its stupid and sad and pathetic and degrading and why should they get off the fake unreal images/videos/content when they should be from the REAL THING- you!
my bf doenst- dont listen to stupid conforming fools that generalise everyone and say that all guys look at porn.
there are cool guys out there.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): i wouldnt get to upset about, just come out and ask him... if he replys yes then tell him how you feel about it and if he replys no then theres nothing to worry about. but he's a guy and they work different to us so i wouldnt worry too much he's probly just watching it for new ideas or fantisisng i guess its pretty normal :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): Look love all boys watch porn it's just manley hood got it. But if he is watching it before have sex with you maybe you should just be truthful with him and ask him. Maybe when your joking around say " oh so porn is better than me" type of thing you should get an answer but if all fails just ask him bluntly he will love you for being truthfulAny other questions don't hesitate to post.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): Hey, if i was you, i would gett a bit upset. Talk to him about why he watches porn and stuff, say you would prefer he didnt or maybe ask him if it turns hmon more than you, let him know how you feel. He wil understand
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (25 July 2005):
 I think the good thing here is that he was honest with you which means you can work together on this.
It is understandable that you feel he got turned on by the porn and then had sex with you, so perhaps it was the porn that aroused him as opposed to you. However, I would suggest that the porn merely assisted him to get him in the right frame of mind and that is all. You then supplied him with all the rest for him to achieve satisfaction. Sorry to not sound very romantic but that is basically the facts.
Talk to him some more about this and do it soon as you don't want porn to become a big issue between you both. Tell him how you have been feeling and explain that you have wondered what exactly has turned him on. I'm sure he wouldn't feel quite so content if he thought you were looking at pictures of other men before going to bed with him so that you could have sex with him.
It is a difficult issue this one as some say the mind can be unfaithful, not only the body. You do need to talk to him about how you feel.
Have you considered reaching a kind of compromise by actually watching porn together? At least discuss options that could be available and acceptable to both of you.
Keep the communication channels open.
I hope this helps.
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reader, schlottjl  +, writes (25 July 2005):
 Don't feel bad about this. Enjoy the effects instead. All men are visual and all people tend toward variety, at least visually. Men can't help themselves just as women willswoon for sweet talk and romantic attention. Of course not just any naked woman will turn a man on and not any sweet talking romancer will turn on a woman. Looks count in both cases.
There are unhealthy situations where porn can be a form of cheating you. The time to worry is when his extra bedroom activities either interfere with his time with you, or if there is any contact with other specific women.
To illustrate, if he were to ejaculate while looking at porn and if that were to render him unable to perform, then be upset. If he was looking at internet porn and there were peep sessions with a particular live performer who he chatted with, be upset. If he answered an online add or used phone sex cyber sex chat lines that included one on one situations, that is cheating.
If he is looking at naked magizines or watching porn movies and this led to a wild night in bed, buy him more porn. Men like the variety! So long as he is into you, he knows where the real deal is.
Go thank him instead of worring.
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