A
female
age
30-35,
*mily92
writes:I got the feeling that my husbands friend was hinting for a threesome but I’m not sure. We’ll call his friend Lucas. It all started about two months ago when the three of us along with five other friends hired a cabin in the woods for a long weekend. Me, my husband and Lucas arrived first, I was unpacking in the bedroom and I heard Lucas ask my husband nd when the threesome was starting. They both just laughed if off and I took it as just a joke. Well during that weekend something was mentioned about my nudes (I can’t remember how we were pretty drunk) and this friend made a joke about having my nudes and masyirbating over them. Again we all laughed it off as a joke. This whole weekend he kept making sex digs at my husband like he couldn’t pleasure me or wasn’t big enough etc. My husband did it back to him so yet again I thought it was just boys being boys. Then he asks me if I would prefer a big penis or an average one that was good in bed. I said an average one and he said that’s what he thought.Anyway. We haven’t seen him since then as he lives a few hours away but we hosted a party last night for our group of friends and he was one of them. We were all playing never have I ever and someone (possibly me, I was wasted!) asked if anyone had ever had a threesome. Everyone in the room said no and Lucas asked me if I ever would with another girl, I said no way I couldn’t handle that and I had zero sexual interests in women. I asked if he would with a male and he said he would try it as long as it was with a friend and his wife and that he didn’t have to do anything sexual with the buddy. I was surprised and he said he would think he’d try it. Again I added this to just being banter.Later that night my husband told him where the guest room was and he said my husband could sleep in the guest room. I laughed and said why don’t I take the guest room and leave you two in the bed. They both said not a chance and that’s when I realised he might of meant sleeping with me, I took it as having me and husband in the guest room and him having a nice comfy bed but now I think he may have meant kicking my husband out and him and me being in there.After the party me and my husband went to bed drunk with Licas sleeping in the next room. I told my husband I wondered if he was hinting for a threesome. My husband said he didn’t get that impression at all. Am I overthinking everything?The next morning when everyone left my husband asked me if I wanted a threesome. I considered lying and saying no but we’re very open and honest with each other so I said yes. I said the thought was scary and made me nervous but it also turned me on. I admitted that the three of us have amazing chemistry and that I do find him attractive. My husband said no at first but after talking through his fears he says he will consider it as long as we have rules. For example protection, nothing happening between them two and a safe word.Well now we want to bring it up to this friend but I’m terrified I’ve read the signs wrong and we get rejected. Because my husband doesn’t think he was hinting I’m worried my fantasy is just that. A fantasy. And that I’ve made all these silly jokes into hints that aren’t really there.First of all what do you think? Was he hinting? Am I overthinking it? And secondly if I’m not overreacting then how do we bring this up to him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2018): This Lucas guy definitly wants to sleep with you whether it is via a threesome or a twosome, you and him. Also you seem to be attracted to him and open to a threesome to include your husband also. The only party who is not happy to the idea is your husband and rightly so because he is worried that he can not handle the aftermath. He should have stopped Lucas entertaining such ideas from the start to the extend of throwing him out of his house and his life. If you decide to go ahead and do this threesome you should seriously consider that it will end your marriage with your husband.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (1 January 2018):
 I do think your husbands friend has made an excessive amount of sexual hints towards you. I would agree he's testing the waters to see what you guys think of it.
Between my friends we do make a lot of similar jokes, but that's usually just between the guys, never including the actual partner, so I definitely think he's trying to drop signals.
However, I do think this would be an absolutely terrible idea. Possibly to the extent where you're risking your marriage. It sounds great in theory, testing the sexual boundaries of your relationship, but then where do you draw the line? It's true that this could go fine, everyone has a good time and it's left at that and life moves on happily but the amount of times I've seen the same post on this site where it's ruined the relationship and things cannot be salvaged it quite scary.
What happens when you're mid sex with this friend and your husband decides he doesn't like it anymore? Then you stop and the three of you become awkward? Then the friend isn't happy with it all and still wants to have sex in future? Or the situation initially went well and then you and the friend want to do it again and your husband doesn't? I've heard of affairs start over it. What about if your husband and friend loved it and you didn't and it starts your husband hounding you to do it again?
The negatives FAR outweigh the positives of this situation and I really think you need to assess it before proceeding.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 January 2018):
 From what you have written Lucas isn't interested in a threesome, or hinting at it, he is interested in making a cuckold of your husband ... his comments show his lack of respect for his friend (your husband) and deserved a sharp set down from both of you.
Be wary, down this path there be dragons ... and upsets and hurt and actions done that cannot be undone, none of which will upset Lucas at all, he will give you a quick bonk and if you convince your husband to have a threesome he will get to watch some disrespectful arsehat giving it to you. Lucas will laugh at how easy it all was and go on his merry way and you and your husband will have the pieces of your relationship to gather up and try to fit together again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2018): In my opinion this has mistake written all over it. It sounds like you fancy your husbands friend and this is an opportunity to have fun with him, rather than a serious threesome fantasy you and your husband both share and an opportunity to explore that is well thought out. The fact you had to persuade your husband is a red flag. He may well be going along with it out of a little bit of intrigue and a desire to keep you happy. Is he seriously going to be able to cope having seen his friend be intimate with his wife? Your talk of penis sizes; what if the friend really is slightly bigger? What if it appears you may enjoy him more? (even if it’s just in your husbands head rather than reality). It is extremely common to suffer serious jealousy in these circumstances that can have long term damaging implications on a marriage. Doing it with a friend also makes it difficult as if they stay friends there is a constant reminder. If it truly is a threesome fantasy that you both want I would suggest you and your husband look online and find a stranger to try it with first. If, and only if, you both come through that experience still happy and still intrigued about exploring it further with your husbands friend would I suggest finding out whether there was any substance to the flirty banter.
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