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female
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anonymous
writes: If you finally start talking with an ex again but he isn't ready to be in a relationship again, is it ALWAYS black and white that they just don't want to be with you? We were with each other for almost 4 years and a year of no contact after the break up..noone cheated..i think we did really love each other and care for each other alot..it was petty stuff that i think we can get over from just learning from mistakes etc..i know what i would do differently and told him this. He is in his 30's and I am in my mid twenties so when i met him, alot of my first experiences were with him..and therefore i made mistakes. I don't place all of the blame on me but i realize i was too jealous at times and not independent enough, should have let some things roll off my back etc. I really truly understand my mistakes and know what i needed to change personally. I read books on relationships, traveled, joined a team. I know those mistakes could have been the major thing that pushed him away and I have been trying to show him things would be different. I truly regret those things. Despite that--i think he knew i loved him very much and just wanted to be with him. My actions were never out of malicious behavior or anger which he even said when i told him i have regrets.i was strong and didn't not contact him until a year later because i still loved him even though i tried dating etc. We have been speaking for months. I did ask him very direct questions and made direct comments of how maybe he is just trying to be this "nice guy" and doesn't want to say that he just doesn't want me. And he said that isn't exactly right b/c if it was about me then he would be seeing someone already or looking.We have been having nice conversations but in terms of us seeing each other he said let him get his head together. I asked if he was against seeing me randomly for now because i know we can't see each other once and get back together. He said he wasn't against seeing me randomly. We talk every week or couple of weeks or so but it is mostly me calling at this point.I really still care for him very much and its not as simple as he is an ex for a reason--i wish we could give this a second chance and i am hoping he would eventually come around.I have been dating in the meantime but it doesn't make me feel as happy like i did with him.
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female
reader, Waiting for an angel  +, writes (2 June 2010):
Hi, well we're in the same situation im looking for a second chance myself , so send me a private email & we'll talk more about it. I'd too feel i have learned from my mistakes , & i know things this time around would be different but idk how tp convince him, hopefully i'll hear from you soon.
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