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female
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anonymous
writes: HOW FAR WOULD A MAN GO JUST FOR SEX. My problem is that my ex says he wants me back after almost 4 years apart. He came the first night promising me the earth, wants to settle down and get married; wants to look after me and his son; says he loves me and wants to grow old with me, etc, etc. He also tried making a move on me where we just kissed and cuddled. He really wanted more but I had to tell him to stop. I do think I love this man but I'm not really sure if he loves me and wonder if he is saying all these things just for SEX as it's been a long time. I want to be sure that he is serious before I sleep with him but it seems that all the things he said he wanted to do does not seem to be showing in his actions. Since that first night I get the feeling he is losing interest already as whenever he sees me he expects me to give him SEX and when he doesn't get it, he disappears for a few days and doesn't seem to want to see me or call me. He makes excues that he's been working late so by the time he gets round here I'd be saying its too late. Even at the weekends he seems to be working! He is also living with a woman and says he will leave her and come to live with me just like that if I give him the word. Since he's said that, which was almost 3 weeks ago now he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to move out again. I have told him that if he's serious then he should move out and show me that he's left her then we can talk. I don't really want him living with me until I'm sure about his motives. He is still living with the woman and keeps making excuses as to why he can't leave yet. The only interest he seems to show in me is to have sex with me. He doesn't seem to want to get to know me properly. He seems to think by giving me all the sweet talk and not showing me anything else that I will jump into bed with him. He seems quite happy where he is and now and again he will call and ask to come round when it's late and dark expecting that I will give in to him. I haven't given in to him and don't intend to either. He doesn't even seem to want to talk about us and our future. I really just want to know if this is how far men really go just for SEX or do you think he might just be telling the truth? Help
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male
reader, Withnail700  +, writes (14 July 2006):
 Move on! This guy clearly has no scruples if he is prerpared to keep you and his girlfriend dangling on a string, awaiting his word. As Irish says, if this man really loved you he would being doing ANYTHING to have you - and would have ditched this other woman long ago. This guy is a fake - get rid and find someone nice!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): A lot of men will say and do anything for sex. The fact that he still lives with another woman too, appears to me that he is also cheater! Hold your head up high girl, I think he just wants you for sex and is saying all the emotional stuff to push your buttons. Forget him and find yourself a single guy who's going to treat you with respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): Actions do speak louder than words. Your instincts are dead right...you just need to follow your feelings and stay true to your own integrity and give him the boot, dear. When a man truely loves a woman, he will do anything and everything, to be with her. He'll want to see her, speak with her, get to know how she thinks, what her interests are, he'll woo, wine and dine her without 'expecting anything sexual in return because he'll respect and honor her. Go find a good man who'll give you this, because this ex is not doing that and he flunks, bigtime. He's a player and he hurts people to get what he wants. You now need to get him out of your life and begin discriminating what type of man is good for you and your future. He 's still with this other woman and he has no plans to go anywhere. That’s why he’s still there. Think about this long and hard and realize...it's time for you to stop seeing this man and begin building yourself a new life, one with a future.
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