A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex broke up with me two months ago after being together for 5 years. He asked me to remain friends and I have but its been really hard. He comes round mine and we watch films or go to the park about everything but 'US'. I used to suffer from really bad pms and during these times we used to have huge rows over nothing. He has told me that he doenst think I can change and that he has given up on me changing. He has also said he isnt interested in dating anyone and likes to focus on his band and work. I have been to the doctors and taken anger management lessons but he is too scared to trust me again. The thing is that he has asked me not to tell his friends or family we are hanging out. I think that when he broke up with me he had in a rant told them that I was a psycho and he would never want me back. And if they knew he was in touch they would probably feel let down as he did tell me he had people backing him up in not getting back with me. I feel so hurt and low that people are actually advising him this and I want him to think for himself and what he wants as when he comes round, we kiss, cuddle and talk about how our day went. He buys me dinner and pays for everything when we go out. I know we still love each other but it feels like hes too scared to trust me again as Ive promised him in the past I would seek help for my premenstual syndrome and now i have and its greatly improved my emotions I dont know how to tell him I would never hurt him again. I love him to bits and really care about him. But the question i wanted to ask is his he considering coming back to me or just using me to get over me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Hi
Pmt is a nightmare. Glad you got that sorted. There are loads of things to take from the docs. I suffer terribly with it, and am on meds 2 weeks every month. Ive ruined 2 relationships in the past, not just because of pmt, but it played a major part.
I expect he does want to be with you, but 1, is scared the rows will still go on, and 2, the fact he's told his family about it all, and they will think he's nuts or something getting back with you!
At the end of the day, if he really loves you, he will give those things a chance, but for now maybe he needs a bit more time. Why not keep hanging out as you are? As long as he's not using you for sex. Maybe dont spend so much time together, then you wont feel like you're being used as a time passer for him. And you have a life aside from him too.
Hang on in there, he will see you have taken steps to sort the Pmt.
C xxxxx
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