A
male
age
41-50,
*ostLove29
writes:I was dumped by my ex-girlfriend 2 years ago - we were together only for 2 months. She broke up with me for no reason - she just said it didn't feel right and that was that. 6 months later she got a new boyfriend and was with him for 16 months before she broke up with him. In the last couple of months we have met up on several occasions (even when she was in a relationship with her recent ex) and we've have recently ended up sleeping together the last couple of weekends.I'm starting to get feelings for her again but I'm telling myself not to get too involved again after she basically broke my heart.I want to ensure I'm not her rebound and take things easy and see how it develops.....I'm even not getting too attached in terms of talking about serious stuff in case I scare her off. She works in a job which takes up a lot of her time so when I do see her it is at weekends only.What should I do? Am I doing the right thing? How will I know if she wants to try and get back with me because she's not really touchy-feely type of girl. How long will it take before I know?Also, she sent me a text saying sorry for not being much fun which I'm not sure why she said this when she knows I enjoy spending my time with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): I think the best thing you can do is ask her if in her opinion the two of you will ever be an item again. If no, then you've got two choices - friends with benefits or sever contact. If yes, carry on as you are and let things develop naturally.
She may have changed her mind about whether things feel right or not, having lived with another guy for all that time and seen his irritating habits, and decided you could be a better option, but only she knows that.
Let her know that she broke your heart the last ime, and maybe she'll see that you really want to be with her. I'm not saying she'd take pity on you, but she might just see you in a different light now.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Ask her. You deserve to know what her intentions are. If you are worried that asking her this will scare her off or upset her then what kind of relationship do you think you can have with a woman who isn't willing to be open and honest with you? Unfortunately, it sounds to me like she might just be using you. If it didn't "feel right" the first time around what's changed? You are right to take it easy and trying to not get too attached.
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