A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is a very weird thing for me. I am about 16-17 and this is actually my first teacher crush. Technically, he is not my teacher but my coach for the sport I play in. He is a teacher though at the school I attend. My coach is also very young and some where around his twenties. He is a very nice, sweet, and intelligent man that is also very supportive. We also have a female coach, but she is very hard to talk to because she goes on and on about teamwork (the sport I play is more based on the individual and not much teamwork is needed) very excessively and purposely makes you feel inferior if you do not act the way she wants you to, another words she is very dominant and controlling. How does this apply to the question I am asking? Well, I have a hard time talking to the female coach, so instead I talked with the male coach. We had summer practice and so I ended up spending more and more time with him and the rest of the team. I noticed that after I started talking with him more he seemed to take more of an interest in me. He even seemed shy quite often around me when normally he doesn't have much of a problem around other girls my age (16-17). One time, I thought I even caught him examining me and he turned red and looked away. Now it seems like he is more comfortable around me, but only when my teammates are with me. If I am alone with him, he will make some excuse that he has to go do something and will be right back. If I am more isolated from my teammates, he will stand next to me or talk to me. Each time I talk with him, he leans in a bit and listens to every word I say. Recently, I was talking to one of my friends on the team and I said something that my coach didn't know. He commented that he didn't know that and smiled at me, before passing me. He also holds eye contact with me more and if he is explaining something to the other girls beside me. He would look at each one and then look back at me more than the others. When we were playing a game in practice he asked me which person I would like as my partner, but stood closer to me than normal. He also tends to stand next to me more or walk past me often. Whenever he talks with me his voice seems like it is filled with praise and soft. Also I am not the best player on the team, but I know a lot about the game and am decently good. The female coach asked me a question about the importance of teamwork in front of all my team members. I gave her my answer and the male coach nodded in approval, but the female coach was not satisfied and I glanced at the other coach for help, but he stayed silent and looked at the ground and the female coach made me answer her question her way.After mentioning each of these things...to me it seems that he is interested in me? Does this conclusion sound very strange or believable? Do any of you think he likes me? Is it all in my head?I'm sorry that this is really long. I just want to add that I am relatively mature for my age and have a much different personality than many people. I am also relatively shy, but I can talk very well with people older than me. My male coach is single and not married, so that doesn't make things too complicated. I do have a crush on him, but I won't do anything with him that would make him lose his job. He really enjoys being a teacher and the last thing I want to do is take it away from him.
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crush, my teacher, player, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): Just enjoy the crush while it lasts... There is nothing you can do right now. Wait till you're 18, and see how you feel about him by then. If you're still interested, go for it!My coach who is now in his 40s married one of students. The coach was 22 and the player was 17. They waited till the school ended, and talked to some people about it, then dated. They ended up married with 3 kids!Make sure that if you want to start a relationship with him, that everyone understands that nothing 'illegal' had happened beforehand, because that would get him fired, and you don't want that to happen, do you?BTW, I'm a 18 yr old, and the teacher I had a crush on (trust me, it was consuming my life for months) is now just my friend, and I'm looking forward to meeting new boys in the university. The teacher I liked... I'll always have a special place for him in my heart, though. If you and him are meant to be together, you will be in the end. I wonder about that in my situation too; only time will tell!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat is a very interesting perspective, but I think you misunderstand my intentions. First off I do NOT want to be involved with him on an intimately personal level, especially when I am still a minor and still go to high school. If I had to consider being involved with him it would be purely based on conversation.
Also I do NOT show a lot of my feelings openly, so I am much harder to figure out. I suppose he might know that I have a form of a crush on him, but I'm not so sure on that. If so how would he know? What can I do not to appear so and just look friendly and purely interested in conversation?
I also talk to him occasionally and mostly when I have a question. I am not running up to him and practically begging for his attention. I give him distance as I do with others. I simply enjoy having conversation with him (not all the time, I am not pushy at all and keep my distance). Over all my whole point is yes I have a bit of a crush on him, but I simply just like talking to him. He is very wise and I am satisfied with that.
I wondered if he has some form of interest in me, but if he doesn't he doesn't. Again, thank you for your answer and if you can please reply to my other two questions. I like when someone tells me something from a different point of view that I didn't think of. :)
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