Does my boyfriend still have feelings for his ex?

A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and recently had a baby. When we met we had instant chemistry and fell in love. We have spent every weekend with each other from the time we met. I live in LA and he lives in San Francisco and we would rotate the travel trips. My problem is that in the beginning of our relationship he would constantly talk about his ex-girlfriend of 3 years (he met at work and still works together) He would talk about how she liked a lot attention and how she would try to make him jealous, and because of this they had trust issues and eventually broke up. He told me in the beginning of our relationship that she was the love of his life and that he was really hurt about the breakup.I told him that I didn't want to get involve with someone who has a hang up on someone else and he reassured me that he was over her. I trusted his words and told him that if he wants our relationship to work then he has to stop talking about her because I didn't want to hear it. After that neither of us mentioned her for the longest and our relationship and love grew stronger for each other. We planned our baby after dating for about 1 year. Everything was going good, we were planning the arrival of our baby, and his move to LA. He was still working in SF while looking for a job in LA and would drive down every weekend to be with me. On of his trips down (I was 7 months pregnant) I had opened his briefcase to drop a few photos we had taken and noticed all these emails and notes that related to his ex and their relationship. The emails were actually email conversations that he was having with one his buddies at work about her and if he should send her flowers for her birthday. There were also other notes talking about their sex life and how many times they would have sex. I looked at the dates and these exchanges were created 3 months before we met back in 2010 but now we were in the end of 2011 and he still is holding on these things and even carrying them in his briefcase.Anyway, my question is why would he carry this in his briefcase? He told me that it was old and that he never cleaned out his briefcase but I don't believe it because it was on the side pocket and that would mean he hasn't cleaned his briefcase that he carries everyday with him for over a year and half. I feel that he still has feelings for his ex and I don't think he has been able to get over her because they work together and see each other constantly. They even have mutual friends on FB. That's how I found what she looked like. Her facial features are not attractive but she has DD implants and tummy tuck so that may have been the attraction. Anyway, I do love him very much and want us to happy and he wants us to be happy and wants us to move on from this but I can't seem to just let it go. I lost trust in him and don't know if I can be with someone who I don't trust. Now it drives me crazy knowing he is working with her and so far away from us (he is still looking for a job in LA). He tells me that he does not even talk to her but I find that hard to believe. We're all in our thirties and I'm not an insecure girl but it bothers me that he may have feelings for another woman. What should I do?

View related questions: at work, broke up, ex girlfriend, fell in love, flowers, his ex, insecure, jealous, move on, sex life

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A female reader, Eyespy17  +, writes (15 June 2012):

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