A
female
age
41-50,
*ixie200
writes:My boyfriend's drinking is getting out of hand and we already been thru enough. Well i have. Engaged moved in and now back at mine minus the ring. Had tough time with the fact slept with an ex which is recent. So now this has added to problems. Tells me loves me and wants future kids and me moving back but only needs few drinks and his mind is awful. I cant cope and only few days ago did he do himself real damage falling cos of drink. Vowed to change and its a wake up call yet today i call on him unexpected and he been to hospital earlier for his injuries. Expecting him to be compus mentus and he wasnt. Im at my wits end. Should i leave him. Am i clinging onto something i wont get ie a happy future with children! Help. We been together 6 months and only 4 been great.
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female
reader, pixie200 +, writes (4 June 2010):
pixie200 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thanks everyone. Nice that you told me a part of yr own experiences. Ive ended it as it turns out he does drugs too and is a vile person. Will not be seeing him again. Wasted half a year on him already. Single girl again. Just need to build bank balance back up which is his fault too! Only one regret. When had chance i should have cleaned him out!x
A
female
reader, pixie200 +, writes (4 June 2010):
pixie200 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone. More happened since last binge. Hasnt learned and got drunk yet again and went round to a neighbours to confront him about previous beef they got. Needless so say neighbour was sober and only shoved him away! Told him not happy with this anymore. Its like he doesn listen and next text is to say are you coming over tonight so i reitterated and basically said ive had enough. Not heard owt for 6hrs so prob drinking again if usual behaviour owt to go by!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2010): He's only going to get worse before he has a hope of getting better. Drunks have to hit a bottom (hard) and then realize that their life is hell and the only way to change that is for them to stop drinking. No one can tell a drunk what to do, they have to come to grips with this.Do him and yourself a favor. Breakup with him, and let him hit bottom faster w/o you in tow. The non-drunk has a MUCH HARDER time in these relationships as they are witness to the insanity while the drunk is oblivious to it. Dump him, let him hit bottom and then see if he seeks recovery.On the flip side you can stay with him, live in hell, then he hits bottom, and gets into recover and then breaks up with you.... happens all the time...
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A
female
reader, pixie200 +, writes (4 June 2010):
pixie200 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou. Its been tough. Probably cos i know without this drinking problem he wants the life he says and he does love me. Its only been apparent last couple months. Was he just on good behaviour to start with. He is a binge drinker and doesn even need that much which he agrees to when sober. Has some appalling friends and neighbours. He is easily led and lets me down a lot. I know what I should do deep down but dont know how. Change of number and no confrontation. Im also out of pocket which im bitter about cos we did my house up on premise of us living together and rent mine out. It was my money that paid for it and now im left with huge overdraft. Just left with broken promises.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2010): Dont stay with him!My mum made that mistake with my dad and they had four children. Me being the only girl. When i was at the tender age of 6 they split and got a divorce. My oldest brother has a criminal record and my younger brother has behavioural problems. My arents argued throughout their marriage and now my other brother has relationship problems. I am unbelievable insecure. For the sake of any future children you have please do not go back to this guy, they never change.My dad still drinks himself to unconsciousness and you dont understand what that does to children.Please dont go back to him xxx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 June 2010):
I think you need to end this mess. According your post, you've been together 6 months, you're engaged, he has drinking problems and to top it off he's already cheated. He won't change, and you really shouldn't be around this man. There are so many better men out there. Why waste your life with this one? Answer, you should't.
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