A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony aunts and uncles. I have a problem: I'm really, really dense when it comes to knowing if a guy likes me! I've been trying to figure out what kind of signals this one guy is sending and I just have no idea... Can you help me?I met this guy a couple of months ago when I started college. He's a couple of years ahead of me and we don't have any classes together, but we've sat together at the cafeteria and talked a number of times. I really, really like him. We like a lot of the same things and have a lot of the same values also. He's very social and outgoing, and I am not, and we kinda have different circles of friends so he doesn't spend a whole lot of time with me. But every time we see each other he gives me a hug. Now, he hugs all the girls, lol, but I don't know if he hugs them all the way he does me? (He's not a player, he is in fact a strong Christian no-sex-until-marriage type of guy, but is very touchy-feely and likes hugs.) He gives me really long tight hugs... like last night he must've hugged me for 7 to 10 seconds, lol, and with both arms. Not sure if this kind of hug means he might be interested or not. Also, I had my hair down (I usually wear it up) and after the hug he was kinda touching/playing with it. That might mean nothing though, because my hair is really long and lots of people like to touch it, not sure why, haha.I had a boyfriend (long distance), with whom I am now broken up. As I was in the process of breaking up with him my Facebook relationship status went from "in a relationship" to "single" back to "in a relationship" during the course of about eight hours. The new guy asked me about that a couple of days after the fact: "so, what was up with your status changes?" We got to talking a little bit about relationships. He's single, and says he's not sure if he wants to date anymore - I take it he's had some bad experiences with girls in the past. He told me that on-and-off relationships like mine are no good and said that he didn't want to see a friend of his in a bad relationship, then added, "not that I'm trying to get you to break up with him." I dunno... sometimes I think I'm getting "that" vibe from him, and sometimes I think I'm imagining it because it's what I want. What do you think?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): I think he just likes you as a friend and you are seeing what you want to see. He has in so many words discouraged any talk of taking it further. He could initially have been curious but once he saw the dramatic nature of your relationship advertised on fb, it kept him from taking that curiousity into something further like asking you for a date. It's nice to know he is paying attention to your fb, looking out for you as a friend, but not the kind of attention that draws a traditional guy closer.
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (4 November 2011):
 Who cares if you're getting that vibe? If you like him, go for it. Ask him out, or at least make it blatantly obvious with your body language that you would be open to getting asked out (play with your hair while smiling and making eye contact with him, cross your legs toward him, touch him on the arm or chest, stand really close to him).
Hair-touching is usually a very good sign that one person likes another. It's very personal - in fact, when I've been single, I learned that when a girl lets you touch her hair, 99% of the time she's ready to be kissed. For guys, touching hair is usually a strong sign of interest.
Even if he's not interested now, often the most attractive thing a girl can do is to show interest in a guy. You'd be surprised how fast a guy can go from "Who is that girl?" to "Wow, she's hot and awesome!" just because he learned she likes him. Go get him, and good luck.
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