A
female
age
30-35,
*lowerz90
writes:At the beggining of the year i had my first proper relationship with a boy 5 years older than who had a kid from a previous relationship. We were together 2 months and he made me feel really special so i decided to sleep with him. I am moving to Canada with my family very soon and i told him this before we got together but he ended it suddenly because it was going to be harder to say goodbye if we let things get serious. I was very upset as it was him that pushed us into giving it a go in the first place but he said he didnt expect to fall for me as much as he did. I was devistated! We have been friends since then and he always asks if ive had any news about Canada and says things like, 'if you wernt going we would have been so good together'. He even talked me into having 'no strings attached' sex and it made me feel awful! Its been months since we split up but i still really care about him. To be honest i think he used me for sex, im not sure he ever really cared about me and it really hurts! Does it sound like sex is all he was interested in? Do you have any advice about moving on?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 August 2010):
 I don't think he was interested in sex alone. I think he sounds like a man who thought you looked like a beautiful and interesting girl, and he wanted to know you better. Then he realized he was falling for you too fast, knowing you were going to have to leave he wanted to protect his heart and pull away. The no strings attached sex to him was because he needed to feel you close, be intimate again, probably because of his feelings towards you. People who are in love want to have sex with each other hun, it is not just about the sex, but about the person you have it with.
If you want to move on, stop having so much contact with him. Limit it down. And don't write him cute e-mails or talk about how things could have been.
If you want to hang on a bit longer, why not ask him to move out to you, or come visit for a while? Are you going to stay in Canada for a long time? Are you going back? Is there a chance you will get back together? Is it worth maybe having a long-distance relationship?
I think he truly cared/cares about you and find it difficult himself to move on. It is easier for you to move on if you could label him a jerk who only wanted sex... it is harder to let go if you know he truly cared. So I am sorry, but that is what I think. I think he cared, and wasn't with you just for sex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): You said it yourself "To be honest i think he used me for sex, im not sure he ever really cared about me and it really hurts!"
trust your gut instinct, there are a lot of sex driven guys out there and if he really wanted to be with you, he would have made it happen, even if you were moving. He would have spent every damn day with you up until that point.
BUT...thats just the general stereotype. He totally could have fallen for you and really didn't want to get hurt later. thats understandable and makes sense.
but does this really matter if you're leaving?
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