A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,There's this girl at my school who's been causing me some problems lately. I met her a couple of months ago through a friend who's in an fwb type situation with her best friend. Though we only met that one time and spoke for less than 5 minutes, she developed a crush on me and made that fact very public knowledge in our school. She's never actually approached me or asked me out, but for some reason she and her friends have started being bitchy towards me recently. There hasn't been any direct confrontation but they'll do things like make insulting comments about boys with long hair (I've got long hair) when I'm within earshot, or her friends will loudly ask her "are you seeing John/Dave/whoever tonight?", all for my benefit.It's pathetic, and childish considering we're sixth formers not young kids (I'm 18 and she's 17). This situation is causing an awkward, tense atmosphere for me at school as I see her there on a daily basis, and is stressing me at a time when I'm already under pressure with exams and coursework.What I don't understand is what I'm supposed to have done wrong?? I assume she's hurt because I didn't respond to her advances or ask her out. Ok, I don't fancy this girl and am not interested in dating her, but I can't help the fact she just happens not to be my type. I don't see any reason why she should take that so personally, and there's no way she can claim I've led her on or been playing games. I've been turned down myself by girls in the past, not always nicely either, but never responded in this way or tried to get 'revenge'.Does it sound like I've done anything out of line to upset this girl, and is there anything I can do to ease the situation? Not that I want to, but would talking to her privately about it help?
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (14 May 2012):
 Girls at that age can be very childish....
Sounds to me that you are a very bight well educated young gentleman. You have not done anything wrong nor do you deserve this type of treatement.
its easy to say ignore them but really its a very difficult thing to do. I don't think that these types of children are very responsive to adult situations nor are they going respond well to a talk.
I think the best thing you can do is confront them and ask "exactly what is your problem?" Once confonted they may back down. Its all about the power trip with these silly girls.
You may want to also respond that you didn't ask her out becuase you were not attracted to her as you only date grown women and not little school girls. :)
I am sorry to hear this is happening to you, I can only assure you that most women grow up with time.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 May 2012):
 The only thing you did 'wrong' was not reciprocate her feelings. I think you've read the situation pretty well.
You don't fancy her. Nothing wrong with that. She and her friends are handling it very poorly. It might be more of a sting to her after she's made her feelings so public. I don't recommend a private chat though. Not at this time anyway.
I think the best thing you can do is stick it out. Continue to be classy. Pretend you don't notice the barbs and be cordial if you think it appropriate, remain upbeat and focus on your studies. In time this will pass and she'll either grow up or move on to someone else.
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