A
female
age
36-40,
*ryin'tobehappy
writes:I'm Desperate for advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 8 months. Lately we have been arguing and I dont have sex with him very much anymore, and It has kinda gotten to the point where I want to start talking about a future but he is only 21 (same as me) and just wants to " live in the now". I totally respect that. Before we actually had the title of bf and gf we dated for a while. He suggested last night that maybe we need to see other people but still maybe date eachother. Of course I was devastated but he was very caring and sweet to me during this conversation of like 3 hours. I thought that since our sex life has gone down and we have had these little spats quite a bit that it would be okay. He then said that he does love me so maybe we could still go out on dates with eachother but still see other people to just have fun in our young lives and not be in a monogomas relationship. I was actually okay with that because maybe it would help us to figure out what we really want. Now he has been encouraging me to go out, make friends, and date. I told him that I have a date tomorrow night with a guy I met at the mall ( I lied) I wanted to see if that would bother him but he seemed happy for me and not bothered one bit. Does that mean he is really ready to let me go, or did he just not want to show his true feelings since this was all his idea. Also, FYI we have been 100% faithful our whole relationship. Sorry this is so long but I feel I need to give all the details for good advise. So Again what I need help on is: Does it mean that he really wants to let me go if it didnt bother him that I was going on a date with a guy? Is it healthy for a realtionship to kinda be put on hold and date other people while still dating eachother without having the title of bf and gf?
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (5 August 2008):
I must say, I just turned 22 and I know how he feels. Ive been with my bf (whos 6 yrs older than me) for a year now and recently i was told by my friend (who met him for the first time) that i cud do better..it really opened my eyes because I was so close minded TO JUST HIM.that no one is better just blinded by infatuation. I dont believe that I really fell in love...but was completely infatuated...I def learned a lot..im glad I got the experience of a meaningful relationship but to b honest, I do feel young and ready to explore wats out there...wat more is out there? I mean I've had bad experiences with guys in the past...either they talk too much or dont talk at all..and I really feel like something is missing, something feels incomplete...like my guy is still somewhere out tthere...some normal, sweet, smart, funny guy. I just wanna now see what else is out there..but its SO HARD TO DATE. I really think hes ready to let go and see others..I think hes happy that you are going out cuz he wants to go out...its normal..and its healthy honestly. To be with one person for that long at 21..Idk how girls do it. EXPLORE GIRL! and if ur meant to be..u will b like cory and topanga (from boy meets world) and ull find eachother again! Its healthy to explore, dont b disappointed...be happy,, and be less emtionally attached!
A
female
reader, tryin'tobehappy +, writes (5 August 2008):
tryin'tobehappy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Okay, so I guess that it is a good thing that we go out and see what we like and not like. But is it bad for me that he was very supportive and happy when I told him that I was going on a date with a guy. I am like 50% that he may have felt jealous but just didnt wnat to let his guard down but then I am also 50% that he was happy because maybe he wanted me to let go of him. What do you think?
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (5 August 2008):
 I think sappygirl has it wrapped up really. I think I would move on, you dont need to be tied down yet with marriage etc but you at least deserve monogamy x
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (5 August 2008):
 Seems like he wants to see what's out there, but still hold on to you just in case he doesn't find anyone better.
The question here is What do YOU want?
He is right..you guys are both very young and it is good to see what's out there.
I suggest breaking up. Don't date each other..but be friends.(if you want to)
He probably does love you, but you have to understand. AT 21..a guy has no idea what he wants and have to figure that out for himself. This is the time to have FUN..so maybe you should go out there and do the same thing.
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