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Does it get better with time regarding anal sex?

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Question - (28 September 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a question about anal sex. My boyfriend really wanted to have anal sex. In the past it was something I was not open to, but since my boyfriend really loves it, we talked about it, and I decided we could try it. He knew I was nervous about it hurting me, so he took his time. He tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible. He spent a lot of time helping me relax, he used a lot of lube, and he went slow. I found it a little enjoyable, but I think that was mostly because I knew he was enjoying himself, but it was painful. My question is, if I do it more often does it get less painful? I know the first time I had vaginal sex it wasn't the best but that changed...will it with anal sex as well?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009):

YES, it does. It takes practice to learn how to relax. He needs to be very gentle, and go very slowly. NO rapid thrusting until you learn to relax the spincter.

It may take several weeks, but you'll get there. My GF can now relax in about 60 seconds, and it takes me about as long to get my entire penis inside her. After about 30 seconds I can start thrusting, and she's screaming in JOY in 3 or 4 minuites. It's amazing to see her lose control when she comes!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

Yes it does!! I was never open to anal and now I love it. Break it in with a long period of time (a few months) of fingering the anus, gently first and then build it up to harder fingering. Finally get your boyfriend to put the tip of himself into you and then slowly have anal sex.

If your boyfriend cares about yoru pleasure he will have no problem in doing this slow technique for a while to get used to it. My boyfriend was amazing at pleasuring me up until a point that I ended up loving anal sex!

It's brilliant, it just takes time, and patience on both you and your boyfriend's behalf :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009):

This is always a great question... and pain doesn't always come from the actual course of action, but also from the timing of bowel movements. If you have cleared your colon, washed heavily... and then attempt anal, it's much easier then if you attempt anal with a not so clear colon, because... your buttcheeks dont tend to loosen up as easily.

It's imperative that you are at a very RELAXED state... it's without a doubt that you might want to try fingering your anus with a lubed finger then try two... then... the tip of his penis.

As you become more comfortable with how your body responds to the anal sex, it does get better everytime you try it. You'll be suprised what your arse can take.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

Yes it does. I dont often do anal but when I do, I thoroughly enjoy it. So if you found it pleasurable, take it slow and you too will come to enjoy it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

Hi there, i had the same problem, i seem to be able to it myself with no problem, but when he tries it really hurts a hell of a lot, he thought i lied when i told him i do it just fine on my own and i showed him its not so. I was scared about it at first. I done some research and this is what i came up with. According to some studies, its rather very dangerous to do anal sex, reason being the anal walls are really very sensitive and could course a lot of damage if not handled properly. One can also get sexually transmitted diseases by doing anal sex, however all is not lost, if you really want to do it, use a condom and a hell of a lot of lub, seen as though the anal does not produce itself with enough lubrication. Remember if it starts to hurt stop right way, if bleeding happens stop and go see a doctor. Most women love it cause the anal area is closer to the gspot and feels wonderful. Just take it step by step, as the old saying goes practise makes perfect.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009):

yes it does. Some women even say they love it. I have only had anal a handful a few times, and that also recently, with the same experience that you described. Each time has been a little better. Hope that helps...

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