A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm pregnant and living with my boyfriend. yesterday I was the happiest person ever as although it was a shock that I was pregnant, he seemed to get used to the idea and I was quite happy from the beginning until, and I know I shouldn't have done, but I read his messages and found out that he is only just getting his head round having a baby and that he can't see being with me forever and he knows he will never love me. this was to one of our friends he said to me that when our baby comes he will look after him 5 days a week so that when we split up he will get to have the baby as he would have been there for him more than me. I thought he was joking as when I said that I would leave now he said he didn't want me to. I'm confused I don't know whether to leave now or stay and hope he decides that he wants us to be a family.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): He might just be scared about the fact that he's going to have a daughteror son so just confided in a mate to talk about it. You should talk to him about how he feels about a baby and ask him to tell the honest truth. I probably wouldn't mention the fact that you went through his messages because then you might end up having a big arguement. Good luck!!!
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Oh man, those are some big red flags waving there.
Ever heard the phrase, "hope for the best, prepare for the worst"? This definitely applies to you. There's the lack of trust evidenced by your snooping, and his crazy text messages and plotting for custody. Of course he doesn't want you to leave yet as that would harm his custody bid.
I'm sorry that you're in this situation but I think you should get ready to live on your own. Look for your own place and be prepared to raise this child by yourself. If you do split up have all your ducks in a row to file for child support. Find a good lawyer too, just in case.
Good luck.
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