A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i don't know how to take this.recently the man i've been involved with for a better part of 5 yrs responded to an email i sent him wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving.Mind you this was the first time i attempted to write to him in the 5 months he has been gone.to make a long story short when i asked him these three questions...why the hesitation? what are you too busy? or does something else have your attention? i would think if you missed me that much you would be 'running" over here to see me.this was his response:It's not like that at all......I'm trying to sort everything out at this point. I still feel that you deserve a man that can be with you all the time, not someone, like me, who can only come by every now and then. I had hoped, in a strange way, that you would have found someone to fill the void left during my absence, but the selfish side of me wants no one else to stroke that pussy and ass but me..... The battle rages on inside...... What in the world does this mean?does he really want me to move on OR just find someone to take his place until he CHOOSES to come back?Because i think we can all agree on the fact that he will be back one day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): "Because i think we can all agree on the fact that he will be back one day."
I think this is true as along as he thinks there is sex in it for him, so why would you want him back? Is this an affair? Just end it and try to find someone better to have real relationship with, easier said than done, but he is for sure not worth your time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat other choice do i have but to move on whether i'm ready to or not.
this guy may NEVER come back around again.
someone else eventually will pop up and IF the day ever comes and this other FOOL shows up I'll just tell him FU
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (4 December 2011):
Do you want to make yourself available to sex with a man who only wants you for that purpose?
If you had moved on completely from this man and were seein another you were compatible with not only sexually, but also emotionally, would you even consider giving up your compatible guy for a brief fling with this man?
The thing about moving on is it really means you're moving forward and leaving the relationship that doesn't make you feel whole behind. Essentially, when you move forward, when you find someone compatible, you will only want to focus on the future.
You do not feel ready to move forward yet, do you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno this not the first time he's been gone like this.
and we didn't break up.
the last time we were together everything was fine well and good when he left and was supposed to come back the next day.
IDK what happened between than and now.
the only other email i got was 3 months ago saying that "we would talk soon... A lot had happened".
and then I wrote him an email wishing him and his family a Happy Thanksgiving and got this response.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand when i do move on i won't be available to him at all.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (4 December 2011):
Something else is going on here that you are unaware of.
He told you he had hoped you would move on while he was gone. Likely, your moving on to someone else would make you sexually unavailable to him. This is just a guess, but it seems like he is involved with someone else out of town. He is a man who may even have "girl in every port."
His email indicates he is attracted to you physically and views the relationship as largely sexual. When men say they want you in a physical way with no talk of love or commitment, they are only interested in the physical aspects of your relationship. If you are waiting for something more, something emotional, something committed and long term you have a better chance of finding it if you move on. He has already told you this much in his email.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (4 December 2011):
Something else is going on here that you are unaware of.
He told you he had hoped you would move on while he was gone. Likely, your moving on to someone else would make you sexually unavailable to him. This is just a guess, but it seems like he is involved with someone else out of town. He is a man who may even have "girl in every port."
His email indicates he is attracted to you physically and views the relationship as largely sexual. When men say they want you in a physical way with no talk of love or commitment, they are only interested in the physical aspects of your relationship. If you are waiting for something more, something emotional, something committed and long term you have a better chance of finding it if you move on. He has already told you this much in his email.
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A
female
reader, goldengirl88  +, writes (4 December 2011):
I would say he wants time to sort everything out, if that is what he said. and he feels ike right now he cannot offer you what you need, which is someone there with you.
I think in away in probably flatters him that you are still waiting for him. I might be slightly concerned with the fact that he seemed more worried about someone physically being with you, rather than someone forfilling your emotional needs, but he is a dude so ?
Is this the first time you too have spoken in 5 months etc, why did you too break up, have you broken up etc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2011): Sounds to me like he's married.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso I will assume that you think he may show back up again?
because to me it just seems very vague.
i say that because he doesn't actually specify for me to move on.
just that he had hoped that i would have by now.
if he really wants me to move on just tell me.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 I think deep down he wants someone to be there for you as a partner and for you to be happy, but he can't bare the fact that another guy will get near you sexually. To me it sounds like he wants you sexually but he is not wanting anything serious with you, just be careful that he doesn't end up just using you for sex. I think in his mind he just wants space away from you and move on with his life, but the selfish side of him does not want another man near you, yet he still wants you to move on and be happy, and that is what you should do!
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Hello,
Have you been having an affair with him for 5 years? If so, he will be in and out of your life. Affairs "work" like that.
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A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (3 December 2011):
 Why would you want him back? He wants you to be his booty call so that when he messes up in the future he can fall back on you. If you want that, wait for him. If you want more for yourself, move on.....
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