A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had an affair while I was married and unhappy. It happened once (he was not from here) and was totally unexpected. I kept in touch with him for a year by email and sometimes phone until I recently divorced. I refrained myself from showing any feelings for him until I sorted my situation because I didn't want to have some kind of double life. But we were emailing almost daily and he provided a great amount of emotional support going through all this (my situation was a little complicated). After I divorced I decided to go visit him for 3 months to see if we had potential for something serious. But just after 10 days we had our first crisis because he already wanted some kind of commitment on our relationship. We talked and resolved the crisis but every 2 weeks the same issue would come back. So bad that he actually cut my visit short after an argument and told me to go home 3 weeks before the end of my visit. Seems like knowing the future of our relationship is more important to him that actually spending time together. I can't answer if I think we have a future together when I haven't spent enough time getting to know him. Moving to another country is not a decision you make on a whim...He says he's been in a relationship with me since the day we slept together and doesn't see why I need time. I want to have an opportunity to fall in love with him and not have the feeling that I am signing some kind of contract. I am just confused by him. I am open to a relationship and we actually have another opportunity to see each other for a month but again he asked me if I thought we had a future together before even coming. If he really liked me, wouldn't he just want to spend time with me without conditions? I am starting to think it is not me that he really wants but just a relationship for himself. What do I do now?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): its time to ask your self ...do i want the same ole same ole,yes or no? meaning change your self image..work on your self first..rebounds never work,never..you accept the same and you will get your last divorce all over again..find who you are today and get spiritual..your a good person..
but if you keep allowing the guys to taste the desert before its time ,,yes they are going to go on a power trip with you..or maybe you like the cat and mouse game with them..either way ....no body wins..you or them!
get to know who you are first and then you will find
a great guy..not a dime a dozen kinda guy..a guy who only wants to hang out between your legs..
remember you could end up from one of these guys something
you cant give back.(stds)think about it..doesnt matter how clean he looks..today we have about 30 million cases of aids out there..think about it....is it worth it..
i know you will make the right choice..take care..signed jj.
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