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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i'm 18 he's 24. we go to college together and ever since i met him this fall i thought there was something about him.a couple weeks before winter break he started doing simple things and being a sweetie like playing with my hair, leaving all our friends at the pub to go with me to the atm (and he didn't need to use it, only i did), telling me he likes to be petted or saying "i'm glad you're back" when i got back from winter break.There are 2 interpretations to all this, i think: 1) he likes my company and having me has a friend OR 2)he fancies me.I really do fancy him and i'm afraid i'll just get my heart broken cus he won't give a damn or just want to be my friend.Any help at all?Thanks Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's not that i'd be rebound, it's simply that he doesn't "see me that way"...
i swear i'd rather be rebound!
i really do feel bad cus it took me a long time - 3 years - getting over the last time i was dumped and when i find someone worth risking my "sanity" and give it a try, i find myself tucked in bed thinking "why would this time be different?"
i truly hate men right now! and myself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso apparently he just got out of a 5 year-long relationship and is taking his time off. fair enough, i guess, but i like him.
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female
reader, Mushgirl  +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Hey. I have a feeling that guilluame definatley has a point there. Wait and see what the guy says on monday, til then you can't know. But keep in mind the fact that in all honestly, he might just be wanting to 'do things properly'. I don't wanna get false hopes up though... not looking good I'm afraid... Wait til monday though. I really hope it goes ok, tell us what happens! Good luck, i mean that! xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so i tried to ask him out yesterday after class but i couldn't get him alone and didn't want to raise attention by asking him to speak in private so i called him today and just asked him "what would you say if i asked you out?" and his first reaction was "oh god!" then he said that this wasnt the type of thing to chat on the phone about and that we could just speak on monday at college.
so bottom line: outlook not good.
please tell me i'm wrong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni honestly don't know. It's so hard to look at him and not smile - i almost told him that today!
i hope you're right really and wish you best of luck with your "potential partner" too
take care and thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): I have come across your question looking for an answer to my own...but I would from your desciption of events encourage you to pursue something with this "potential partner". Of course there is always the possibility of friendship, but instinctively, you don't tell someone you miss them and go with them to an atm, unless your sincere and just desire to be alone with them in any capacity.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (12 January 2008):
Aww don't give up on him yet! Some guys are hopeless at this kinda thing. He might either think you're just not interested yourself, or something else happened. Or maybe he didn't think you really wanted to come out.You never know.
Don't dispair that easily!
Whatever you do though, don't act like you care too much!
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust save you the troube to answer. he didnt text. whatever. f**k
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe might be going out tonight actually... as friends though.he's supposed to text me and let me know if we're on. my room mate doesnt want to go - he doesnt even know i fancy that guy - so i might go by myself and meet him and whoever else is out with him.i dunno if i should make a move or not... but i guess it just depends on how the night will go and if we are even gonna go.when i'm around him it's all good - i mean, i just act on my instincts, i don't get all nervous or anything - but sitting here typing this and waiting for the phone to ring...that makes me really nervous and kinda nauseated :Si really dont want us to be just friends although friends is better than nothing.and i know that if he doesnt want us to be more than friends i'll be pretty messed up...i get down really easily when it comes to this sort of stuff...anyway...i'm gonna wait for the phone to ring and cook dinner meanwhile.thanks a lot for the support, i appreciate it. x
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reader, Mushgirl +, writes (11 January 2008):
Have you heard of the 'friend zone'? If someone's in the friend zone, it means that they are only ever seen in a matey way instead of a potential-partner sorta way. It is a notorious problem to be stuck in the friend zone, because it's hard to get past that stage of being 'just friends'. So I guess the best thing you can do is stay WELL AWAY from being in the friend zone. I don't mean you have to propose to him the next time you see him or anything, but for example if he's wearing something you like, compliment him on it (in a CASUAL way!) and hopefully it'll make him realise that YOU don't only see him as a friend. Just don't be too full-on with it!
Keep me updated! Mushgirl xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answer.I've never seen him flirt or whatsoever with any other girl... but again there's not many girls in our course.i try not to notice all these things and try not to expect anything but i really like him and i just don't want to get hurt.i'm far away from home so my longtime friends don't know him but when i tell them all this and ask their opinion, they all say i might have a chance but i honestly don't know.the only serious (or so i thought) relationship i was in was just a way for the guy i was with to get his ex back...and most times when i get into a guy it's just unrequited.
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female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (9 January 2008):
I know how you feel! Frustrating, isn't it?
I guess the easiest way to find the answer is to look at how he behaves round other girls. Does he play with their hair? Does he flirt with them? If he is generally a very flirty guy, I wouldn't get your hopes up.
Mind you, he did leave everyone else (and the pub) just to go to the cash machine with you. Maybe he wanted the chance to be alone with you...?!
Make sure you're not just taking note of all the things that point to him fancying you, and ignoring evrything else, because if you turn out to be wrong you'd probably feel gutted.
I'm not saying you are though! I just mean, don't expect anything. If he wants something more than a friendship, I doubt he expects you to make the first move because a) you're quite a bit younger and b) he's the guy, and I know this is stereotypical but guys are usually expected to make the first move because it makes them feel manly.
So if I were you I'd wait and see, try flirting back a bit to let him know that he's not 'just a friend', but if he looks bewildered, back off a bit.
I think you have a good chance with this guy! Good luck! xxx Mushgirl
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