A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and I have been with my fiance 3 years. He lived in Lincoln and moved here about 3 and half years ago. When i first met him he was into drugs and drinking every night. I dispise drugs, but i gave it ago. We became close and he stopped doing drugs but he was very immature. In 3 years i have put 3 stone on and he has put bout 3-4 stone on. We split up twice in the first 3 months but only for a couple of days, his mum said it broke his heart. He lived with his sister and his friend but 2 years ago he moved in with me and my mum. And a year and a half ago we got engaged. He had a rubbish childhood and he got mad at the smallest thing (but he never hurt me)He had a few mental problems, he was ment to see a councillor but never went. Everything was perfect but in the last 3-4 months he has been moody and we haven't been showing each other much love. On Friday he rung me while he was at work and everything was normal, but 2 hours later he rung and said "i dont wanna hurt you and i dont wanna split from you just think i need a couple of weeks away to sort my head out cos if i dont i will end up killing myself or going to prison". I was heartbroken but he came home to pick up a few belongings that he needed. But when he came here my mum rung and said get him out of the house so he said he would take all his things. We talked and he said he still loves me and he didnt wanna split up but his head was a mess and until he sorted himself out we couldn't sort our relationship out. He told me he wasnt taking his phone and that he will get in touch with me when he is ready. He ended up staying that night and he cuddled and kissed me and told me e loved me it was better then it has been for ages. I had to get up early Sat morning to pick my mum up from hol. He told me he was still going and that he would be here when i got back he kissed and cuddled me and told me he loved me and still wanted to be with me. But he wasnt here when i got back and he left his phone here. I think he is at his mums but she wouldnt tell me much and she said as well maybe its because he wanted us to get our own house which i knew he did but i just wasnt ready. Then she rung me back to tell me that he was ok and that she would take it as we were over but she cant say for definate cos she doesnt know. Its been 2 days and i still havent heard nothing but he hasnt said its over i just dont understand and i dont no what to do until he explains properly i cant move on. I have had other boyfriends but i have never loved anyone like i love him. But 3 days later my mum rung his mum and she was saying he is scared that we will get back together and get married and still live with my mum and have children and still live with my mum it all seems to be about us moving out, then 4 days later i told his mum that we could have talked about moving out and then she said he wanted to no if i will move 30 miles away and live with him and i said no all my family live here and he works with his family and he can drive where as i dont. She said he will never come back here and theres nothing she can do. Does he want it to be over deep down and do you think he will be back.
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at work, drugs, engaged, fiance, get back together, heartbroken, immature, mental problems, move on, moved in, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): well i would think that he thinks you are to attached to your family and would put them in frount of. Him and your kids. And if you really love him you would be willing to move 30 miles away. My wife had never been 100 miles from home till we got married and we moveed 850 miles away and we got alond better than ever without our familes there
A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (19 October 2007):
 Dear anon.
sorry to hear that you have had a lot of problems with your bf,it seem a strange way to behave,i do not want to hurt your feeling but i think for your own sake it would be better for you in the long term to leave this relationship, you have said your relationship had been strained of late, then he said he would contact you, then is mother said he finished with you,he is giving you different accounts all the time, you made a good decision not to join him 30 miles away, from your friend and family,if he is back on the drugs then you could be putting yourself in grave danger, i believe your only choice is to end this relationship, if he really loved and cared for you, he would have given you more respect and told you the truth instead of hiding be hind his mother,you are still young yet and you deserve a loving and caring relationship with a person who nows his own mind, and you do not have to worry all the time what he might going on in his head, if you do continue then i really believe it will be a disaster for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): I don't know, it sounds like he is doing drugs again or something. If he truly loved you, it would not matter where you lived. I would also question his ability to communicate with you. The last night that the two of you spent together, he shared with you that he needed to get his life together. However, it does not sound like he shared the issues with you.
You should take the time to evaluate the relationship yourself and really think about what it is that you want. Focus on the gym, going out with friends, being happy and know that that no one can make you happy, but yourself. An emotional healthy person should be able to live with the person in their life and without the person in their life. It sounds like you have been taken advantage of on an emotional level, supported your man whole heartedly and he never respected that hekp or you.
God Bless....Pray and be strong....the lord will never forsake you....ask and he will answer.
F
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