A
female
age
36-40,
*a petite belle
writes:Hello all,First off I would like to thank your time and advice. I have a complicated story and my main question is that I don't know what to do or how to approach the situation and/or whether I should ask him what we are... but first I need to set up how we met.We met my freshman year, I am in a sorority and he is in a fraternity, we met a couple of years ago when we rushed, we never really talked and I always felt attracted to him, I noticed that he would usually stare at me when I would enter a room but I never really did anything about it, but then he started dating one of the girls from my house and I decided to stay as far away from him as I could... years went by and we both kind of fell off the party scene and would normally see each other at the gym and would casually say hi. He graduated and I felt kind of sad but didn't make much of it.About 1 month ago he message me on my space and said that he was wondering why he hadn't seen me at the gym and he also stated that he would like to see me... Long story short, we ended up going out and on our first date we had a very intense make out session but we never went further, we went out the following day but we just went bowling and he kissed me at the end of the date. Over the next few weeks we hung out and was very affectionate and we kissed several times but I would always end up being the one that would arrange plans to see each other.He has a very clean "reputatation" and people at his house consider him one of the few grounded "brothers", throughout his college life he was only known to have 2 long time relationships. Through the little time I have been seeing him, I appreciate that we share a lot of things in common from school, to sports, to cars, to hobbies, etc... it's not jus physical attractioN (although some of the people that have seen us together have commented that we are an attractive couple.. even though we aren't a couple :( ... )I know that he has been trying to get a job and I tried to help him because I have done some networking and have met some important people but during one of the events where I took him he told me "I have a deadline... if I don't find a job by the end of the year, I am movign out of the country". My face dropped out of my body... I was completely shocked... what exactly did all of what we had shared mean... I didn't say anything... I swallowed my pride and told him that I hoped that he would find a job...A few weeks later, for his b-day I planned a very special surprise that he liked and we shared breakfast at a very little but cozy and relaxed restaurant btu the problem was that he kept telling me over and over taht he might move to another state if he gets the job that he applied for. I felt really sad and almost felt used... then people have told me to just take it lightly and as if we were friends but it is hard to so when we have shared some intimate moments (I am a virgin, so for me steamy makeout sessions ... are my idea of intimate) so I have tried to move on and just see him as a friend but I would be lying of I say that I have done THAT... I can't... I really like him...Another guy from my school has been approaching me, he plays for one of the athetic teams in my University and I played with the idea of dating him... but then I come back to the fact that this guy is not boyfriend material because he has all the girls that he wants, whenever he wants and I am not going to be just "another girl"... PJ has been publicly posting somewhat flrity messages on my myspace to which EVERYONE (including the former guy in question can see...)Last night I droppped by the former guy's house and he was cold towards me... he came and greeted me outside of his house...even though it was a lil' bit chilly, he didn't invite me in, he didn't try to be affectionate as he used to be... but he did agree to go on a date with me... I tried to message him today but he took forever to reply and he has yet to reply to my reply...I don't know what to do or to think... does he think something bad about me because of PJ?, does he not like me?, is he possibly seeing someone else?, do I annoy him?, why am I getting mixed feelings/signals?, do I ask him what he wants form him? how do I ask him?, wording?? is it mature to ask him that? or it is a childish thing to do?, do I move on?...
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