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Does he still want me? I can't go back until he changes!

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 July 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age , *ucky1 writes:

i left my husband after being 20 yr tgether we got married 2yr ago the reason i left was because he opened a second buisness that hasnt paid him in over 2 yr and it came between us when he didnt have time for his family was stressed etc so after many discussions i left i got my own house job etc and moved at first he thought i wouldve come back then he said just look at it as your husband working abroad at times he said he might come to me then 7 week after i left i heard through my kids that he was thinking o splitting from me so i emailed and split from him then a week later through reading his texts when he told me i was sexy fit etc and i should move on i realised he mustve met some1 at first he denied it then says therejust friends i know he works 6 nights a week and on his night off the past 2 week he hs sat in the house although he mailed to say he has met up with her 6 times in 5 week but i wonder why he is telling me this i have cried for 12 week as i really love him but i cannot go back till he changes his moods i have stood by 2 yr and watched him spend all our money on something that aint payin him anyways i have not spoke to him in over 2 week all of a sudden he texted my 2 older daughters asking for my new address so he could send me a birthday card then on my birthday he texted wishin m a happy birthday and telling me how good i look on pics on fb and how proud he was of me he said that i have told u i,d met this girl 6 times but im to busy as i work 6 nights a week so i c her wen i have time but so busy then he put happybirthday to me on my fb then he said he cant wait for me and my daughters to go n holiday where he lives now i dont know whats going on i his mind is he afraid i will approach him and this girl or does he care what is it i know we were brilliant toghter great sex life the lot hes a great man but thought he was going trough a mid life crisis he changed that much the past 18mth he was writing nice stuff to me then sayin we wouldnt work because of my deprssion which i think i had cause tobe going through anyways why is he textin me when we stopped all that 2 week ago plz help xx

View related questions: money, move on, sex life, text

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A female reader, ducky1 United Kingdom +, writes (4 July 2010):

ducky1 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dear male sorry but it wasnt money, i left with 10 euro it was the stress , the way it changed him he was moody, high blood pressure etc i was waiting on my 38yrold man dropping dead and i couldnt stand by and watch it he was always exhausted not only running that buisness but trying to run our first buisness which was 18 hr a day i dont care about the money all i wanted was my best friend back i have told him over the past 12 week how much ilove him and that i want him then jus 5 week ago he met someone after she invited both of us to hers but he says there just friends i know this girl and although married has been with other men but i know he is working 6 nights a weeek in our bar and he texts to tell me that he see,s her when he has time why tell me confused.com

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2010):

Obviously there was no reason for you to split but money. MY view is that you would have supported him in tough times rather than leaving him. Marriage is not only for good time, it is for bad time too. Obvioulsly, he may be a gentleman and loving you still so he might not have found any women, but believe me that some will pick him up soon and that is how the world is.

So you need to shed all those ego battling mind set of couples ( who takes the first step etc ) and try to find ways to unite with him quickly. before it does more harm.

I started mu business after leaving the job and it took 5 year to get to level where i earn equal to salary i was getting 5 year before, but i never had any fear of losing my wife and she fully supported me in lowered income level of house holds etc etc.

dear sister, you are at the little wrong side of story in my view so take first step and adjust to business realities.

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A female reader, Basschick Australia +, writes (3 July 2010):

Basschick agony auntAh-so the work-a-holic thing was just a front to skate around with another woman, hmmmm very clever. Also explains why the co-called business venture never paid him in 2 years (perhaps there was a little pay if the business even existed, but it was squandered on his new love interest, perhaps late night dinners or drinks out somewhere? I think you were wise to move out and move on. Sound like the new love interest may have fallen through, and now suddenly he's trying to get you back. Think long and hard honey.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2010):

DrPsych agony auntI would be sceptical about the existence of the other woman, simply because as you say he is a workaholic with limited opportunities for dating. It could be his clumsy attempt to 'make you jealous' so you realise what you have 'lost' and beg for him to come back. He is clearly interested in you and you don't sound ready to quit this marriage. Therefore it maybe for you to think about getting marriage counselling to identify the common ground.

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