A
female
age
30-35,
*olidgirl
writes:im 19 and still new to this guy thing,Ive only dated 4 guys in my life and 3 of them didn't last even a month...But the one that lasted we were together a year and a half...and i loved him to death he was my first everything and even first bf. We broke up but still talked every once in a while..and he would always ask me about a new bf i would get even when he was with someone else..and recently he broke up with his ex...and started talking to me again 2 years later...And he missed me and i missed him..but he messed up really bad with me when we were together when left me he didn't want to hurt me again...and since he left me i wasn't with a guy sexually i still loved him. And one day i asked if we could do the deed..And he finally agreed to it after a while i never expected that but he told me it was just going to be sex nothing else since he knew how to shut himself off emotionally since he learned from his ex...and he wanted to stay single because he likes it and he was scared and worried about getting in a relationship with me since he hurt me really bad in the past. so we did the deed. And after that he started to stick around and act like we were dating but he kept telling me we pretty much are dating but i don't wanna put a label on it and he did treat me really great he even told me he was happy to have me again i was happy to, having him and i was the only girl he was seeing cuz he spent alot of time with me one day i asked him why he stuck around he told me cuz i made him happy and he felt something for me again that's y and we didn't even do the deed that much he was always tired...but He was on his myyear book talking to girls and he was looking for other girls so i tried not getting close the situation was confusing the crap out of me then yesterday he finally told me we weren't going to date that i knew this that he knew i wanted more and he hoped for more but he can't get himself there that he cares about me as a friend and can't get that to change he was also sorry he couldn't get it to how we first were dating..I was hurt but at the same time i didn't feel anything when it was happening as if i was okay with it..i feel as if i lost the love i had for him during the time we were seeing each other...i think cuz we did the did and he would tell me how him and his ex would have sex....and said something really messed up after i told him not to talk about that...i was so hurt i cried and told myself i couldn't do this anymore...i felt my heart tear after that...i just let it go though i tried to act like everything was ok and eventually things were fine but i didn't feeel much but i was happy...now im trying to fix things between me and him as friends and ive told him to move on..and that i wnt it to be like how we were seeing each other except just friends...and he said ok..ive been depressed since then...because we use to txt alot and i told him i dnt wnt him to push me away and i dnt wanna push him but after a lil bit he stops texting me...i even txt goodnight to him and he doesn't even bother to reply back and it makes me feel like **** as if he doesn't care cuz b4 he use to reply when i wud tell him that, does he need space? or what should i do....idk what to do...and this situation is making me really sad..
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (31 January 2011):
 Sounds like this guy wants all the benefits of a relationship without doing any of the work -- and by benefits I mean "sex". I think you need to decide for yourself if you want a friends with benefits relationship or not. And after reading your post, it would appear that you want something more than a "bed buddy".You need to take a look at this guy's character. Is he one that is going to be there when you need him? Is he going to treat you like a queen? Is this the man that isn't going to go behind your back and see other women?Only you can make the decision, but by sharing intimate contact, I think you are becoming emotionally connected. This is dangerous ground, as you'll be easily manipulated by him and in the long run, left with hurt feelings when he finds someone new.Hopefully you'll be patient and find a guy who is right for you -- someone who will treat you with respect and want to be with only you.Good luck!
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